eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm lifestyle

Diary : Berlin Filming for Merciless Dominas and Miss Courtney

It’s now been over a year since I started filming (blog on that here) and, one of the things I found was how much some doors and opportunities opened up for me as I proved to be reliable.

So, after filming with Merciless Dominas last July, I was invited to the Berlin shoot at the Torture Farm in October 2016. Unfortunately, prior commitments stopped me taking that – however, in the hope an opportunity would come back up, I took the chance in June 2017 – and things probably turned out a lot better this way.

Diary : This Past Week….

I tend not to do week-in-the-life of kinda posts.  I mean, there’s often things happen or things on my mind most weeks.  But still.

Anyway, the past week or so has been really positive in many aspects of my life.

Staying Safe : Avoiding Scammers

There’s been a bit of a rise recently in attempted scammers.
And, general chancers are fairly common.

Some have been fairly blatant, clear bots. Some, I’ve seen people at least initially fall for.

These are damaging to the whole industry and arguably lifestyle.

Lucky for me I don’t believe in luck…

Lucky for me I don’t believe in luck.

You see it all the time.
“Lucky sub, wish that was me”, “Lucky guy”, etc.

I don’t believe in luck.

Mind. I say that, I do often feel “lucky”.

Why is it always about money?

Why is it always about money?

aka – Pro-Shaming

“Where are all the women?” has been a lowly battle cry since the dawn of the internet.

It’s like the desperate mating call from the male who never leaves his house and is too tight to sign up for a dating site.

Add in some cliche about an unfair ratio or about how “nice guys finish last” and it’s complete.

The Difficult Second Session

I’ve been feeling a little reflectively lately.

I do now and then.

Today marks one year since the second occasion I booked a Private Session with a Professional Mistress. I think it’s interesting to remember some of my feelings going into that.

In music, there’s a term called ‘The Difficult Second Album Syndrome’.

Diary : On the Edge

“I love the pathetic noises you make as you squirm”

Has it been an hour? Or ten minutes? Or ninety minutes? More?

I have no idea.

It is dark, I’m encased in the vac bed – and whilst this feels quite tight, every now and then I feel Ms Evilyne pumping more air in as it wraps into *every* crack and crevasse.

All I can see is darkness and the vivid fantasies in my head. Every one I feel guilty about, every one a distraction.

Little Things… and who is in control. My latest muse on submission.

I think this is now a third complete re-write on my latest mulling on submission.

There’s been a few different factors and other writings which have inspired me into this, including one I wrote 7 months ago.

I mean, my one 7 months ago – it was a ramble. It was me thinking aloud and excreting words to the screen trying to decide if and where I fit in… and concluded that actually it doesn’t matter if I’m submissive or not as long as everyone involved is happy.

I do stand by that conclusion and will probably always stand by that conclusion.

Diary : Bitches Unleashed Trip

I’d been curious about attending a Femdom event for quite a while.

There’s often been reasons I’ve not – whether it’s been uncertainty of if it’s for me, or general nerves. Too much expectancy and then disappointment or even just a vision that there was a risk of too many single subs all desperate for play and in that kind of set up I get a bit intimidated and step back which has me have no chance.

But some of this is all pre-conceptions and worry and the likes- but the whole concept of Bitches Unleashed was too good to miss.

A Year of Filming

It’s been a year today since I first filmed a clip as a filming slave.

I have been sitting on a draft about filming, in general for many months – and now seems a good time to do a final version of it 🙂

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