eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

why the “free foot massages” trope doesn’t work

I’d started another blog and got sidetracked on this issue – but, felt it was a big enough one to have it’s own blog, which can reference this one.

Amongst the most comical of classifieds is whenever you get a guy trying to be clever by offering “free foot massages”.

Other variations are available.

“I want to be like you” – the strangers trying to coattail

Every now and then I get a message from another guy.

The general vibe is usually

“You get to do cool things and meet nice Women, I would also like that”

Sometimes I even get “maybe you could take me with you.”

No stranger. I don’t know you from shit, taking you with me would be a form of vouching and I can’t vouch for you because I don’t know you and any bad behaviour will reflect on me.

Is submission truly selfless?

Is submission truly selfless?

Something that I had struggled with in the past was around whether or not my actions were “selfless”.

Part of this stemmed from a moment a while ago when two Ladies were discussing guys in general and as I pottered around tidying up, one said “They’re not selfless, not like this one”.

What should have been a compliment, actually led me to have a lot of thinking. I didn’t see myself as being selfless. I want to be useful so that people will keep me around. read more

Diary – BTS Filming: with Penny Banks, Mxtress Valleycat and Miss Abigail

This is a slightly rare blog post in the sense that… I don’t actually appear very much.

I spent most of the week behind a camera, often trying to keep a straight camera and straight face for a few days that were a lot of fun.

Ownership within D/s

Someone asked me on Curious Cat “What does ownership mean to you?”

I replied, of course, that this wasn’t something I could sum up in a couple of lines.

I have been working on drafts regarding ownership for a while. Previously, my own views – and then later – that of course I am now under consideration from Miss Suzanna.

So. Enjoy the ride…

OWNERSHIP V COLLARING

A lot of people call things different things, just to make things less straight forward.
In vanilla relationships you might meet somebody, date, then get engaged, then get married. read more

How to get 82.5% Commission from Clips4Sale

How to get 82.5% Commission from Clips4Sale.

I’m going to make a drastic change from my usual writing and produce an actual guide… this one being to making more money.

There’s a lot going on in the world of clips at the moment.

I know that many people and producers rely on clip income – either as a main or passive source of income.

Finding the right Dominant for you : some vetting tips.

So.
You’re scrolling through Twitter or Fetlife or wherever and see photos or mention of someone that makes you go “ooh”.
Perhaps this could be a picture or clip of someone you’ve found attractive or maybe something they’ve said that reasons with your mind.

There’s a little part of your brain spikes up and goes “I simply have to meet this person”.

Of course in a lot of cases a lot of initial horniness takes over – and is where we get a lot of the stupid from – but again to cut this quicker you’re a rational person and can manage to type with hands above the keyboard and begin to type an application to serve or book a session.

Which, um, is still some of the horniness taking over.

In some of these steps  that follow are things to consider to help increase the chances of the person being right for you on whatever basis.

The purpose of this blog serves for an almost pre-contact vetting.  I may continue this series for almost ongoing vetting.

Submission isn’t black and white – knowing what you’re looking for

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

But this can sometimes be trickier if you’re seeking a relationship or are constantly facing challenges or things not being quite right.

Fantasy v Reality : If it’s real to you, it’s real

My thoughts on Fantasy v Reality take a little bit of a twist today.

See, I had intended on following up my, more lighthearted, post – with something more serious about some of my struggles.

But, instead I decided on another angle.

For this I need to give you an anecdote of something that happened 2 years ago.

Grab a chair and get comfy

I was around a week away from what would be my second session with a Pro Domme. It was the same Lady as my first session, but, we’d had a lot of fun and wanted to do it again – and – some things we’d wanted to develop a little. read more

Back to Basics : Profile Pitfalls

Profile Pitfalls

I’m not sure if this is one for a ‘Back to Basics’ article – or – an opinion piece in it’s own right. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, I was on a website the other day and there was a guy hoping to find a Mistress* and was seeking advice on improving his profile to make him more appealing.
(*mind, this blog is going to be a bit more than F/m D/s)

Like many things, I feel there’s no correct solution. There are, however, lots of things that are wrong or disadvantage you.

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