eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

Mistress Profiles : Ms Aleera

Ms Aleera.
Based near London, She is the Queen of the Wolves.

She has worked with many great people – as part of Domina Parties but also through events like the Domme Retreats. She also has her own wolf pack.

“Topping from the Bottom” – a misused term

A somewhat common phrase within kink is “Topping from the Bottom” which is also presented as being a bad thing.

I do agree that it is, if not consensual – and can be bad for both the Dominant and the sub in scenes.
However, I also feel that it’s a term that gets misused. It can leave subs afraid to speak up or communicate. It can also send the Dominants on the wrong path. But, worse, it can be used as a tool to get away with abuse.

Maintaining Self-Esteem in a dynamic that seemingly goes against it.

I was recently in a Twitter discussion regarding self-esteem.  A question being that : How can a a sub maintain healthy self-esteem in a D/s relationship as an “Inferior”?

I think there is a lot of language used, especially online, which comes across this way.  But the reality should be a little different.

Mistress Profiles : Nina Hiss

It’s been a while since I last did the ‘Mistress Profile’ series – and so, about time it came back.  There are three I’ve already got ready and hopefully more to follow.

First off, I’m going to start with someone I had the pleasure of finally meeting earlier this year and we’ve since met up a couple of times for filming and wrestling.

Nina Hiss.

Surprising things that get you shadowbanned

As often, there’s been continuous talk on the shadowban and assorted theories on how to beat it or avoid it.

This doesn’t help that it seems a fair few sex workers, and others from the adult industry, awoke on Friday morning asking to verify their Twitter account with a phone number.

While on one hand, this seems like another purge/attack on the industry. It is more likely to be a sweep aimed at picking up those who are suspected of being bots.

“Why is it hard to find a Domme?” – and other things not to say.

There’s an alarming regularity that someone will write on a forum something like “Why is it hard to find a Domme?”, “Where are all the Dommes?”, “My fetish is a bit niche so it’s hard to find someone…”

To a degree. I get it. Your copy paste message didn’t yield a response. That one person you were talking to stopped replying. You attended 3 munches or one club and didn’t get any play.
And, you’re disappointed because you feel you put effort in and got nothing back.

So, then… you make the post “Why is it so haaaaaaard….?” and that doesn’t actually help your case, and I’m going to explain why.

Diary : An Evening of Mixed Wrestling

I often thought I was cursed with Mixed Wrestling.

It’d been something I’d be curious to be involved in; every time I tried to sort something, something would happen.

Injuries, last minute problems, someone else just pipping me on applying on shoots or whatever.

Knowing/Setting Your Financial Boundaries

Knowing/Setting Your Financial Boundaries.

This is not (just) about Findom.

There’s a lot within fetish and BDSM, particularly when you’re new, or meet somebody new, there can be a temptation to “spend now, worry about it later”

This could be because you want to make a good impression. Or it could be that you would rather do something NOW and pay it off than wait in the hope you can afford the time later. Fearing you will miss opportunities.

This is something that is largely a joint responsibility, but largely that on the sub.

Unless you have an arrangement, expecting your Dominant to be responsible for your spending/finances is extra labour on them.  Ultimately, they can’t do anything about it if you’re not sure and crystal honest yourself.

And, also, unless you’re exclusive to one person – then nobody can babysit your finances for you.

Here’s some tips to follow

A weekend in July : 3 film days and some clubbing

After a busy May, June needed to be a little quieter. But, things for July seemed to slot neatly.

This blog covers the weekend of 4th-6th July – some further antics will be in future blogs.

I’ve already written a blog about a visit to Club DVS, although the plan for the weekend was to go down and do a little filming and go to the club, it turned into a little more.

Sexual Health in BDSM – Look After Yourself

Often a lot of my blogs work for one audience ahead of another – but this is generally one for everyone who is likely to read.

Sexual Health.

I know many of you probably already get routinely checked and take practices seriously.

But, if you don’t – I don’t wish to be preachy but encouraging.

For me.
I knew it was something I really kinda should do – but, just, well, didn’t.

It was actually during a very busy period where the conversation came back up and I felt I really should look into getting checked – and, also as it happens, during this period I did suffer (what turned out to be) damage to the tip of my penis which of course made me know – I HAVE to get things checked out. read more

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