I started writing a post on ownership. It got long. Too long.
So I wanted to break off little parts of it into mini-blogs to be referenced when the main course comes.
This episode is called “10 Mistakes Subs Seeking Ownership Make” – although it’s not exhaustive.
Obviously this is a kinda follow-on from my very popular, ‘So you want to be a film slave’ blog which I also feel is also essential to read.
Certainly a lot of points I will have missed is because they are in there.
From the top. I’m again getting a sharp rise in folk asking about “getting in” to filming.
I’m not sure if they’ve looked at what is happening in the wider society and think some of this doesn’t apply to or affect the adult industry. *But it does*
I believe that the lockdown and restrictions has had people either rue missed opportunities (there’s a lesson in there!) or perhaps felt this is where their biggest chance of getting kink going “when things resume” is.
I always liked the idea of doing retrospective diaries – particularly when there’d been sessions, filming or events I’d not documented before.
Today, I’m going to take you back to 2001. To a period of my life. How I got into kink.
I often joke that I “took a break” and then came back, the break lasting 15 years.
But, what happened before this ‘break’?
It’s probably not unnoticed that there are a rise in people signing up to create their own page on a platform like OnlyFans (or AdmireMe, AVN Stars, so on)
Along with this comes the rise in people bitching about people signing up for them.
Whether there’s a hint of fairness (“not so long ago you posted something against this”) or not (“so now everyone is a model?”) or a hint of entitlement and manipulation (“So people won’t do this unless they’re paid, huh? What happened to doing it for fun?”)
There’s a lot of thoughts this churns up within me – I’d like to share. Especially for anyone new to this or chewing sour grapes.
I feel there’s a trap some people fall into – which is based on behaviour patterns. If you are doing these things, you may be limiting yourself.
There is a kinda prejudice to this, but a logic to the prejudice.
It’s not about that you’re a “straight white male” or “older”. But, that your behaviour is following patterns that people have seen before. We know how it ends.
Whilst none of us have a crystal ball, I think one of the next things to come to terms with is that restrictions to cope with the covid19 outbreak are not here for the short-term.
I appreciate a lot of the posts of optimism, but it’s important to also prepare for reality.
There’s a nice upbeat meme on Facebook.
Imagine when lockdown is over – we’d all be running outside our houses, hugging each other. Ringing Nan to say, “Pop the kettle on I’m coming over”. Imagine that first pint in the pub.
It’s a nice feel good fantasy.
There Should be an app for that – why your favourite fetish and sex sites don’t have an app
There’s a whole bunch of sex and fetish websites that people will state they feel there should be an app for.
I don’t want to sound like “old man shouts at cloud” when I say I sometimes don’t understand the obsession for apps (said as someone with pages and pages of them on my phone) particularly when there’s an otherwise functioning and mobile optimised website.
I’ve found over the last 12 months or so a growing number of people who’ve expressed interest in filming – but trying to sort it out is somewhat trickier than it should seem.
I’ve been plotting a few regular trips to London this year, for a mixture of music and fetish events.
So, the opportunity to go to a concert I’d wanted to see and try to arrange some filming around it seemed a good idea.
In reality, ended up with one day filming out of 3 possible days – but it was certainly a quality over quantity situation when that one day was with AMY WYNTERS.
There’s probably a whole raft of blogs I could write on covid19. Not that I’m a particular expert, I’m not saying that, but on how it’s going to affect us in kink.
Some clubs and events went before the government asked venues to close. The rest obviously have had their hands forced.
While there may very well be some trying to host mini parties, filming events, sessions or meet – currently the advice is, well, not to.
So, unless you live with your Dominant/submissive/play-partner your ability to serve/interact/indulge in kink is likely to be somewhat limited.
And we’ve only just started.
I feel I’ve been a bit lax in doing the diary posts for some of the filming days and so wanted to get back on it.
I think part the problem was I was doing a lot of filming very bundled together in a short space of time. I’m not sure.
So. 2019 finished on a high with a filming day with Devon Breeze and Princess Organa to the extent that I walked out thinking “yeah, I can be done for the year – I’m happy with that”
It was almost 2 months later before my next filming day – which was filming with Miss Kendal for Fetish SINema.
There’s something important that easy to forget about the industry and lifestyle in general. Sex work is a luxury.
Access to it is a luxury; not a right.
Your needs in life are food, water, shelter.
Even if you move up the hierarchy of needs; sex, kinks and fetishes are not on there.