eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

Your first email is part of the vetting process

I know there are many different “how to contact a Dominant” type blogs – although, still many people who clearly could learn more.
I have, at times, seen people feel this doesn’t apply to them or is pretentious or whatever bollocks – but, there is part of this I’m going to explain.

While it may seem obvious to consider “first impressions” – there is a little more to it than that. It’s also a form of vetting.

I’m going to explain this simple and to the point.

Just get a slave to do it

“Why don’t you just get a slave to do it?”
I think this is going to be my most simple, and to the point, posts.
There seems to be a rise recently whereby a Mistress or Dominant will post about doing a perceived mundane every day task – cooking, cleaning, taking out the rubbish… and some numpty will utter the immortal words… “why don’t you get a slave to do it?”

Being Good Enough

One of the things you may know I’ve struggled with in the past of the feeling of “being good enough”. Because there’s always someone prettier, richer, can take more, more popular, has better contacts, has a specialist ability, so on.

Now. You don’t need to be “the best” to exceed the minimum standards. That’s something important.

Diary : Meeting Miss Jasmine

“What you going to write? That we drank tea and talked?”
“Maybe I will…”

It’s funny, really. And an important reminder of the importance of doing things without set expectations and to enjoy taking things as they come.

Bonding far from perfect? Yeah, but so is our own industry.

Although this blog post isn’t about the TV show ‘Bonding’ it is partially inspired by it.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show – it’s a Netflix show regarding a young Dominatrix recruiting her high-school friend as an assistant.
It’s 7 short episodes – around 15 minutes each – and has created a little bit debate regarding a few factors.

Obviously, I’m in full support that some are unhappy that the main character has an in-character account on Twitter, with a blue tick; when actual Dominants and sex workers find themselves shadow-banned.
It also fails to showcase some of the external factors against the industry (example SESTA/FOSTA or the threat of the Nordic Model in the UK) – and she seems to walk around with little consequences. read more

Feeling more like myself

I’m not going to lie, I’ve found things fairly tough for a while now.
It’s felt a bit that just as one thing was going right or getting sorted another thing was going wrong and it’s felt like constant firefighting for, well, pretty much 18 months or so.

This has led to some really, really, low points – and I’m grateful to those who tried to support me at the time.

Diary : Filming with Nina Hiss – and a clip landmark

It wasn’t an intention to go for a landmark number of clips; but, perhaps that in itself was why doing my 200th clip was so valuable.

I’d talked on and off about doing some filming with Nina Hiss – and good fortune had meant that she was available at a time I was in London anyway for a concert.

“Lucky Slave?” – actually, yes, we’re all lucky.

Maybe there’s some stock in “lucky slave”
As some of you probably know, I despise the term “lucky slave” – usually written in a comment to a picture or clip (specifically, the 7 second trailer!)
An often common response is either…
– he’s not lucky, he booked a session and turned up
or
– he’s not lucky, he earned it.

Learning from my mistakes.

Over the past few months I’ve been making mistakes.
Lots of mistakes.  Many quite small and many not noticeable until they all compound at the end.
In a nutshell – a lot stems to ultimately, unfairly relying on and pressurising others for my happiness.
The overall result of this was that it increased my own unhappiness and was a major factor in a breakdown of a relationship.
I raise these here with a very simple view.  That, if you’re not entirely happy – to make sure that you are managing it.  Whether that’s from your own actions, or recognising it others and trying to point them to the right step.

Diary : The Past 8 Months

I sat the other day and felt I hadn’t made a diary post in quite some time.

I then looked over and found there’d been just one diary style post within the last 8 months – and that was a “behind the scenes” style post.

Now. Sometimes, I do things and don’t want to diary things. That I just want things to be retained as a special memory, rather than documenting things making my kink journey some form of Truman Show.

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