Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster


Agony Aunt

“I’ve broken up with a long term vanilla partner – how do I get into kink?”

This is a question I answered recently on a forum, that I’ve seen variants of so much over the years… so I’m answering it here.

“I have recently broken up with my partner of several years.   I have always been a little curious about kink, so would like to take this as an opportunity to explore.

I have many fantasies or fetishes I’d like to explore, but this is all new to me. I don’t know my limits.

Where do I start? How Do I get into kink?”

Why can a Dominant have many subs, but a sub can’t have many Dominants?

Before I get to the obvious – this was something raised to me as a question as a suggestion for a blog.

The backstory goes as follows.

“There was a Mistress who made some posts about being poly and celebrating the virtues of it.  But, she insisted her subs remained mono.  She admitted she had double standards. It seems strange?”

Some of this unpacks some of the myths around poly and other shades of non-mono.

I’m Afraid to tell my Domme that my Circumstances Changed

Another agony aunt topic which I’ve taken from a paraphrased version of a very common topic.

This time about when a subs circumstances have changed.

“I have been in service to a Domme who works Professionally.  Due to a change in my circumstances I can no longer afford to see her as often as either I would like, or that we had previously agreed.
The change in my circumstances has me very worried, and I don’t know how long this will last for.
I’ve seen many posts about how useless broke subs are.  I am worried about letting her down.  I am worried that if we have to take a break that she will replace me.
What should I do?” read more

My Domme failed to meet for the session I’d paid for. What can I do?

This was a specific email I’d been sent for advice on a scenario.

I’m sure many have possibly had the same hypothetic concern, or, similar may have happened to them.   This is my take.

The query relates to a session that’s been paid for in advance, failing to happen.  What can the sub do?

My Partner Said No to My Fetish – How Do I Change Her Mind?

A couple of messages (some of specific scenarios, some generally being a form of FAQ) has led me to start a new Agony Aunt category.

Consider that my advice is based solely on my experience.

I want to start with an extremely common question I’ve heard/answered which I’ve paraphrased below.

“I have told my wife/girlfriend/partner about my fetish/fantasy.   Unfortunately, they have said no – they won’t do/try this with me.  How can I get them to do this for/with me?”

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