Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

Category Opinion Pieces

Who am I talking to? What are chatters?

A sub had been sharing his frustrations with someone he’d been speaking to on OnlyFans. He became increasingly annoyed because he would discuss and agree on something, only for it to be reined in later that day. He had specifically… Continue Reading →

Kink Evolution Between Generations

I was in a meeting at work recently where; imagine my surprise when one of the slides showed paddles and canes. Contextually, it was important. A lot was talking about different generations and how things influences a lot of attitudes…. Continue Reading →

Try Everything Once

“Try everything once” has to be one of my most hated phrases or pieces of “advice.” It usually adds more confusion than clarity and rarely answers simple questions. And, unsurprisingly, it often comes from someone who hasn’t tried everything. Let’s… Continue Reading →

How does your Locktober benefit your keyholder?

The history of Locktober is interesting It seems to have stemmed from a couple’s sex/relationship blog who’d been exploring chastity play and so came up with the idea of keeping the M in chastity for the whole month and that… Continue Reading →

The ratio between subs and Dommes is closer than you think

Can We Please Stop the “Subs outnumber Dommes” myth? The ratio between subs and Dommes is a lot closer than many claim. It’s all too frequent that there is someone who will harp on about “the ratio” – how there… Continue Reading →

Kink is a ‘Want’ – but why do we ‘Need’ it?

The thing with kink, is it isn’t actually a ‘need’.  You go through Maslow’s ‘hierarchy of needs’ and there’s no line for ballbusting.  We ain’t gonna die or go unfulfilled if we’re not sucking toes.  Water is as good (if… Continue Reading →

Are we friends, colleagues, or clients?

It’s been a topic in my mind in the past, and it came up in a little group chat the other day. Friends and friendships.  Particularly within kink and/or the industry. Particular frustrations, to paraphrase, “I thought we were friends,… Continue Reading →

Myths about Male Submissives

If you google “myths about submission” the vast majority of results that come back are bias towards submissive women. And this is valid, and a lot of points are completely transferable, but – all too often I see myths that… Continue Reading →

Clip Site Incentives Would Be Nicer without Hoop Jumping

We’re a week into the clips4sale “120%” commission incentive… it’s LoyalFans 100% day… ManyVids launches another contest… and iWantClips are probably doing something. And these incentives, tags, themes, initiaves, games, well… Of course. It’s always nice to get extra in… Continue Reading →

The Pros (and Cons) of Munches

As someone who has often previously been an advocate on the whole “come to munches” thing, and of course run a munch (which you should totally come to) there’s a lot where my mind has changed a little bit over… Continue Reading →

Deposits – Why they’re needed and a FAQ

For assorted reasons there’s a lot of chatter recently on deposits, why we pay them, when they’re refundable and, more. So here is a quick guide. YOU NEVER USED TO HAVE TO PAY DEPOSITS!!! And now you do. Times change…. Continue Reading →

The Myth of ‘The Submissive is Really in Control’

One of the myths that always pops up is “the submissive is the one really in control” Granted. The submissive has more control than credit is sometimes given for but to say they have overall control is both inaccurate and,… Continue Reading →

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