“I’m really not an idiot,” I unconvincingly try to explain, as I continue to carelessly spill coffee all over myself.
Ms Evilyne just laughs. I’m worried I am showing Her up, but She smiles and says “It’s funny”. Phew.
Truth is, I’m genuinely giddy. It had been such a great day. Even better than I imagined it would be – it was getting to my head a bit. Or possibly a mild twinkle of endorphins running around.
So, let’s rewind. Where am I? What am I doing here? How did I get here?
Lucky for me I don’t believe in luck.
You see it all the time.
“Lucky sub, wish that was me”, “Lucky guy”, etc.
I don’t believe in luck.
Mind. I say that, I do often feel “lucky”.
I think this is now a third complete re-write on my latest mulling on submission.
There’s been a few different factors and other writings which have inspired me into this, including one I wrote 7 months ago.
I mean, my one 7 months ago – it was a ramble. It was me thinking aloud and excreting words to the screen trying to decide if and where I fit in… and concluded that actually it doesn’t matter if I’m submissive or not as long as everyone involved is happy.
I do stand by that conclusion and will probably always stand by that conclusion.