Is submission truly selfless?
Something that I had struggled with in the past was around whether or not my actions were “selfless”.
Part of this stemmed from a moment a while ago when two Ladies were discussing guys in general and as I pottered around tidying up, one said “They’re not selfless, not like this one”.
What should have been a compliment, actually led me to have a lot of thinking. I didn’t see myself as being selfless. I want to be useful so that people will keep me around.
Someone asked me on Curious Cat “What does ownership mean to you?”
I replied, of course, that this wasn’t something I could sum up in a couple of lines.
I have been working on drafts regarding ownership for a while. Previously, my own views – and then later – that of course I am now under consideration from Miss Suzanna.
So. Enjoy the ride…
A lot of people call things different things, just to make things less straight forward.
In vanilla relationships you might meet somebody, date, then get engaged, then get married.
“I’ll pre-warn you, my feet are sweaty”
This didn’t bother me. She knew it didn’t bother me. It was said to excite me.
But, in saying this before I removed Her boots… this did present a challenge.
Submission isn’t always black and white
One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.
Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.
Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.
There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.
A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.
How to Find a Mistress
I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.
“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”
There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.
I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.
On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.
(Well, it had been at the time I wrote this 😉 )
It’s nice in the sense that it’s not too long, but still as a slight gap of wondering if things can be just picked up where they were left.
The link to the last blog is here if you missed it, but for a tl;dr we had a great fun time with a kind of ‘silly slave’ predicament theme. I think we play on that a little looser this time, but, I dunno…
“I’m really not an idiot,” I unconvincingly try to explain, as I continue to carelessly spill coffee all over myself.
Ms Evilyne just laughs. I’m worried I am showing Her up, but She smiles and says “It’s funny”. Phew.
Truth is, I’m genuinely giddy. It had been such a great day. Even better than I imagined it would be – it was getting to my head a bit. Or possibly a mild twinkle of endorphins running around.
So, let’s rewind. Where am I? What am I doing here? How did I get here?