Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

Tag

submission

10 Mistakes Subs Seeking Ownership Make

I started writing a post on ownership.  It got long.  Too long.

So I wanted to break off little parts of it into mini-blogs to be referenced when the main course comes.

This episode is called “10 Mistakes Subs Seeking Ownership Make” – although it’s not exhaustive.

So You Want to be a Film Slave (2020 Version)

Obviously this is a kinda follow-on from my very popular, ‘So you want to be a film slave’ blog which I also feel is also essential to read.

Certainly a lot of points I will have missed is because they are in there.

From the top.  I’m again getting a sharp rise in folk asking about “getting in” to filming.
I’m not sure if they’ve looked at what is happening in the wider society and think some of this doesn’t apply to or affect the adult industry.  *But it does*

I believe that the lockdown and restrictions has had people either rue missed opportunities (there’s a lesson in there!) or perhaps felt this is where their biggest chance of getting kink going “when things resume” is.

“Lucky Slave?” – actually, yes, we’re all lucky.

Maybe there’s some stock in “lucky slave”
As some of you probably know, I despise the term “lucky slave” – usually written in a comment to a picture or clip (specifically, the 7 second trailer!)
An often common response is either…
– he’s not lucky, he booked a session and turned up
or
– he’s not lucky, he earned it.

Is submission truly selfless?

Is submission truly selfless?

Something that I had struggled with in the past was around whether or not my actions were “selfless”.

Part of this stemmed from a moment a while ago when two Ladies were discussing guys in general and as I pottered around tidying up, one said “They’re not selfless, not like this one”.

What should have been a compliment, actually led me to have a lot of thinking. I didn’t see myself as being selfless. I want to be useful so that people will keep me around. read more

Ownership within D/s

Someone asked me on Curious Cat “What does ownership mean to you?”

I replied, of course, that this wasn’t something I could sum up in a couple of lines.

I have been working on drafts regarding ownership for a while. Previously, my own views – and then later – that of course I am now under consideration from Miss Suzanna.

So. Enjoy the ride…

OWNERSHIP V COLLARING

A lot of people call things different things, just to make things less straight forward.
In vanilla relationships you might meet somebody, date, then get engaged, then get married. read more

A Taste of Heaven

“I’ll pre-warn you, my feet are sweaty”

Oh. Good.

This didn’t bother me. She knew it didn’t bother me. It was said to excite me.

But, in saying this before I removed Her boots… this did present a challenge.

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

Finding the perfect(?) gift

There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.

A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.

Finding a Mistress – Do’s and Don’ts

How to Find a Mistress

I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.

“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”

Or varients.

There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.

A more personal take on getting out what you put in

Having scrapped my planned blog for this week (honestly, it needed nuking – my good points in there will be mopped up on a future blog.) I had an inspiration for some writing earlier – and this is probably going to be one of the more personal blogs I’ve written in a while.
It’s not quite as personal as I first thought but, certainly, a slice of my thoughts right now.
To work properly, this is going to be one take – so apologies if there’s a few more errors than normal.
I don’t confess this often, but it should be no secret.
I really love the kink/fetish/BDSM scene.

I’ll do anything (as long as it’s my fetish)

I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.

Be it:
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
or
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.

On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.

Diary : More Filming with Ms Aleera

It’s been 6 weeks since the last filming day with Ms Aleera.

(Well, it had been at the time I wrote this 😉 )

It’s nice in the sense that it’s not too long, but still as a slight gap of wondering if things can be just picked up where they were left.

The link to the last blog is here if you missed it, but for a tl;dr we had a great fun time with a kind of ‘silly slave’ predicament theme. I think we play on that a little looser this time, but, I dunno…

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