Tag
bdsm lifestyle
Re-reading my 2018 review I couldn’t help but get a sense of de ja vous.
Initially, I’d tried and failed to write a 2019 write-up I was happy with.
That, as I’m sure most people will know, I find it important to be open, honest and authentic.
Presenting “everything is wonderful” ignores some of the bad times and struggles and sometimes glosses over emotions.
“I’ll do anything”, “Whatever Mistress/Sir wants”
These sound like good tidbits.
It’s like there’s been some thought put into the lack of thought.
“If I let people know I’m up for anything that it widens my chances”
It also, potentially, widens your chances of not getting what you want.
It also makes you look desperate.
It also makes you more “work” as someone will have to coax out of you what you ACTUALLY want to do.
I was reading yet-another bitching-about-Findom thread the other day.
It’s kinda sobering the lack of self awareness some of these guys have.
It has happened, but it’s very rare I get cold contacted by a Findom – and – I’ll usually be polite unless she fails to take the, well, hint, that handing over money to someone random is most certainly not my kink.
A logical next chapter in my ‘Back to Basics’ series is around consent and arranging play.
The assumption of your position is that perhaps you’ve got talking with someone who would also like to play with you sometime.
Examples could include :
– chatting online
– discussing at a munch
– at an event and the topic comes up
– approaching a professional about booking a session
It may be you have had some opportunity to try certain things informally. For example at a workshop, or slapping a flogger on your hand or something. It might not.
As you may have seen, this week off the cuff I decided to create a survey about consent and abuse of.
I wanted to use this blog in order to.
– Clarify what I want from the survey
– Go through Data Protection
– Apologise for some shortfalls.
The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.
So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.
In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.
As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.
One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.
Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.
My first topic…
Munches.
My first 2017 retrospective I wrote, I wasn’t very happy with.
While it did focus on some highs – and lows – of this year : there’s things it didn’t quite capture.
This HAS been a very good year for me – and that goes beyond dispute.
It has also had lots of challenges, frustrations and lows.
So. I’m instead going to write a lessons of 2017 – for myself to learn from and, possibly there’s something in there would benefit others.
I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.
Be it:
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
or
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.
On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.
I recently started my ‘Mistress Profile’ style blogs and with it being fairly popular and well read I took it as an indication to do a few more.
It is slightly limited to those I’ve actually met, but, I have met many wonderful Women.
Next up I would like to write some nice things about Mistress Suzanna Maxwell.
I’ve pondered on and off for a while about doing a ‘Mistress Profile’ style blog, about the Women that inspire me, rather than just topics.
Now is as good a time as ever.
I’ve no idea how regular this will be, but having met a lot of amazing Women, it’d be nice to try to write something about those I’ve met, particularly if W/we have spent enough time together for me to put together a solid recommendation.
While, the order of publish doesn’t signify very much – I felt the first one I would like to do is Miss Courtney.
Different Types of Timewaster
And, how not to be one.
We all know about deliberate and blatant timewasters – though, we often assume timewaster = someone who books a session and doesn’t show, or overmilks a conversation without a firm booking. Or pretends to have bought something from a Wishlist (perhaps even buys, sends ‘proof’ then cancels the order)
They know exactly what they’re doing.