For the longest time I was ashamed of my foot fetish.
I mean, it seems difficult. Something you can’t really control. But, for the longest time I struggled with it.
Now, well, there’s pictures and videos of me with a foot in my face and a pathetic grin – but there’s a reason for that grin. And, that’s partially acceptance.
There’s nothing like the knowing smile from a Dominant, “I know what a perv you are for feet” (especially if they reference something they know but I haven’t told them – like I’ve liked all their feet posts on social media) because it’s also telling me things are consensual. To make sure I’ve not overstepped lines.
The thing is. I know guys can be inappropriate.
There’s been times on my Facebook where I’ve seen a female friend put up a status that there’s been some creep in her inbox asking to see pictures of her feet (or possibly even commenting about photos of her feet he saw, the old lounger-by-the-pool on holiday type photo)
And as well as her own, rightful, repulsion of the creepy behaviour – other people will join in. Not only about the behaviour, but about the concept of foot fetish in general.
And, it can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. That there’s something dirty, or disgusting.
Before I get to another part, I remember at a discussion group at a local dungeon I mentioned a foot fetish and one of the ladies there was shocked, “Really? But you’re not a creep”
EVEN IN THE FETISH COMMUNITY, ATTITUDES CAN BE POOR
A bit of an outlandish thing, but her experience of foot fetishists, even within the kink community, was extremely poor.
See. Any hope I had that sites like Fetlife might be much better… well, maybe it’s mixed.
Certainly you don’t have so many people saying “sick of foot creeps in my inbox” and people joining in, but there’s still foot creeps in their inbox.
And, as well as some of the comments on photos, which weren’t always appropriate, I see the forum posts.
Whilst most are the usual bog-standard classifieds (“looking for a woman in my area to do my foot-based fetishes with me” – we’re going back a few years so the “Will show my feet for cash” esque posts were less prevalent due to sites like OnlyFans not existing or being in infancy) it would be some of the “but why is it so hard…?” esques posts, or other entitlement, that was again off putting.
From the “this is a common fetish, more women should be accepting” (they ARE they just don’t want to put their feet in a strangers mouth) to the negging (“there’s no real women out there”) and so on.
But sometimes, sometimes there’d be stories that were just terrifying.
From tricking people to showing, or letting them touch their feet. To taking alternative routes to pass places where people may be barefoot or in sandals. To deliberately sitting next to or near people on public transport to get a better view of feet.
There was even one guy who’d been working at a shoe shop for the only reason but to touch ladies feet.
So actually. Some of my early days on fetish sites made me feel MORE ashamed and struggle MORE with my foot fetish than help it. Or help accept it.
I guess before we get on to the eventual acceptance, there is one favourite anecdote to tell. Another that goes back about 5 years.
I was booking a session with a Pro Domme, and, it was someone I’d previously met filming and had a bit rapport with and it was a bit, fuck it, I’m booking a session.
It was a very important session on my journey as it happens but in one of my emails sorting it out, I was a bit, well, I asked about foot fetish but I felt weird and I almost felt I was being boring or cliche.
And she replied saying we could do some.
And, we did go through one of the common tropes of a little boot worship, and smelling socked feet on my face, before the socks come off and, foot heaven. It is actually one of my favourite foot experiences.
But, before this, she’d asked about it a little, like, “why are you weird about it?”
I mentioned I was worried she’d find it boring.
“No, I enjoy it – and I like boys enjoying it. There’s someone who comes see me and it’s just foot fetish – and – I can relax, put my feet up, and it’s enjoyable”
I was a bit reassured. But also mentioned creeps on the internet.
She smiled, “But you’re not a creep on the internet”
I’m not sure if a reference to general observations she’s seen in comments I’ve made, or, that instead of talking a talk I’d not only previously met her by getting out and about but had booked a session and been appropriate in doing so, I don’t know.
SOMETIMES WE NEED TIME
I guess to get to a point where I’m more acceptant took time.
A lot of positive interactions with a lot of people. And by that I don’t mean sliding in their inbox to talk about feet.
And, well – there are a lot of guys with foot fetishes with, frankly, shameful behaviour.
But, I can distance myself from that.
I can speak out against that.
I can consider other people’s feelings and how this benefits them.
I can be mindful of my own behaviour so as not to be judged by others.
And You know. Enjoy that happy place.
When I’m at the feet of someone who enjoys me there. Hopefully because whatever I’m doing to their feet is nice, but, also, because they like me, accept me and are happy for me to be down there (or, up there, if I’m pinning them to the bed to kiss their feet… ha!)
IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING
So, I think if you are struggling with your fetish.
It is common, and it is accepted. But, it being accepted doesn’t mean complete strangers are going to give you their feet. Make friends, have them like you for you and you for them and then, y’know. Stuff happens.
Actually learning nice things to do when down there helps, massage techniques, what genuinely feels nice or is helpful. This always goes far.
But, don’t ‘trick’ people into giving you their feet.
Pro-Domme sessions can have their place. Like, if you want to be at somebody’s feet and they happen to be a Pro, then this is achievable – you book a session. Sometimes people struggle a little here because they feel a bit “does she really like this?” but you can ask for honest feedback and pointers to make it more enjoyable for her or others.
You can pick up techniques and different people like different things.
That’s not a route you have to go down, but it’s an option.
Learning what is creepy and what is not can go a long way, and, like a lot of things. Learning.
I still have more to learn.