Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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kinkster

My Partner Said No to My Fetish – How Do I Change Her Mind?

A couple of messages (some of specific scenarios, some generally being a form of FAQ) has led me to start a new Agony Aunt category.

Consider that my advice is based solely on my experience.

I want to start with an extremely common question I’ve heard/answered which I’ve paraphrased below.

“I have told my wife/girlfriend/partner about my fetish/fantasy.   Unfortunately, they have said no – they won’t do/try this with me.  How can I get them to do this for/with me?”

Do you have to be submissive to enjoy kink?

Do you have to be submissive to enjoy kink?

One thing I’ve learnt over the years is that a lot of people who are, or think they are, submissive often get confused on what this entails.

That, not everyone on the “right of the slash” is actually submissive.

I’m not saying that that is any kind of bad thing.

But there’s a world of difference, for example, between someone who is a submissive and someone who is a masochist.

But, either are valid.

CLOSE TO HOME

Within myself I’ve obviously had my own questions over the years on as of if I’m actually submissive. read more

Back to Basics : Profile Pitfalls

Profile Pitfalls

I’m not sure if this is one for a ‘Back to Basics’ article – or – an opinion piece in it’s own right. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, I was on a website the other day and there was a guy hoping to find a Mistress* and was seeking advice on improving his profile to make him more appealing.
(*mind, this blog is going to be a bit more than F/m D/s)

Like many things, I feel there’s no correct solution. There are, however, lots of things that are wrong or disadvantage you.

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

Taking Shortcuts – The quick way to (not) get what you want

There are so many scenarios I can relate this to – and I’m sure most of you have either had someone attempt to take a short cut with you, or you’re possibly looking for the quickest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
So, you want to go from being single guy to owned slave, skint lady to wealthy findom or person not getting play to person getting play.
Or perhaps you’re looking for someone who is doing this to help guide you, “show you the way”, pass on their contacts, give you a chance, or whatever.
Read on.

A more personal take on getting out what you put in

Having scrapped my planned blog for this week (honestly, it needed nuking – my good points in there will be mopped up on a future blog.) I had an inspiration for some writing earlier – and this is probably going to be one of the more personal blogs I’ve written in a while.
It’s not quite as personal as I first thought but, certainly, a slice of my thoughts right now.
To work properly, this is going to be one take – so apologies if there’s a few more errors than normal.
I don’t confess this often, but it should be no secret.
I really love the kink/fetish/BDSM scene.

Back to Basics : Munches

The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.

So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.

In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.

As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.

One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.

Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.

My first topic…
Munches.

Diary : More Filming with Ms Aleera

It’s been 6 weeks since the last filming day with Ms Aleera.

(Well, it had been at the time I wrote this 😉 )

It’s nice in the sense that it’s not too long, but still as a slight gap of wondering if things can be just picked up where they were left.

The link to the last blog is here if you missed it, but for a tl;dr we had a great fun time with a kind of ‘silly slave’ predicament theme. I think we play on that a little looser this time, but, I dunno…

Only Fans and Horses

There’s been a rise recently in Premiem Content playforms, by that I mean stuff like OnlyFans, Premium Snapchat and a few other bits popping up here and there.
Inevitably, this has led to a rise in disapproval in them, be this from those outspoken against them, or those frustrated content they want is behind a paywall.

For those frustrated.
That’s the point.

Diary : Filming with Ms Evilyne

“I’m really not an idiot,” I unconvincingly try to explain, as I continue to carelessly spill coffee all over myself.
Ms Evilyne just laughs. I’m worried I am showing Her up, but She smiles and says “It’s funny”. Phew.

Truth is, I’m genuinely giddy. It had been such a great day. Even better than I imagined it would be – it was getting to my head a bit. Or possibly a mild twinkle of endorphins running around.

So, let’s rewind. Where am I? What am I doing here? How did I get here?

Diary : A Weekend in the West

For some personal reasons, I’m a little behind on my blogs at the minute.

So, here’s a little overview of a fun packed weekend I had last week, which provided a welcome distraction…

It was just one of those weekends that slotted together. Some stuff I/we wanted to do all happening in the same weekend in a similar-ish area, so made things more cost-effective tying them all together.

Mentally preparing for Mistress

I don’t know if anyone else has any form of routine in preparing for a session.

Now. I’m writing this two-fold, one to share what I do : and two, possibly it may help others. Others either being a Mistress I’m going to see or film with, or other subs to help them get more out of things.

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