Tag
bdsm journey
The thing with kink, is it isn’t actually a ‘need’. You go through Maslow’s ‘hierarchy of needs’ and there’s no line for ballbusting. We ain’t gonna die or go unfulfilled if we’re not sucking toes. Water is as good (if not better) for hydration than piss or spit.
Kink is a want. Though, it doesn’t half feel like a ‘need’ sometimes.
That in itself can be unhealthy and lead to bad decisions. It’s important not to compromise your own boundaries for kink. It is important to find other ways to satisfy this ‘need’.
If you google “myths about submission” the vast majority of results that come back are bias towards submissive women.
And this is valid, and a lot of points are completely transferable, but – all too often I see myths that a lot of submissive men feel about themselves, or feel they have to live up to, or that they face.
As someone who has often previously been an advocate on the whole “come to munches” thing, and of course run a munch (which you should totally come to) there’s a lot where my mind has changed a little bit over time.
I mean, I have thought that “come to a munch” has sometimes been a bit trigger happy especially if, say, it’s a guy who’s being send inappropriate messages online and then moaning “but this is a sex site”. That going to a munch isn’t really in their best interests – nor – of those who he has been sexually harassing.
It’s been a lot longer than planned since I last did a diary post! So many adventures which haven’t fully gone documented, which feels a shame.
So, here are two for the price of one. January 2023 I managed two long, full, film days.
One of the covid-casualties was a gig I had been going to go to with Mx Valleycat. Heilung. I think it was rescheduled three times in the end, and then a late venue shift!
I’d been talking to a friend the other day. She has been dating and looking for a kinky partner. Although she is a switch, though it is not important to her that a partner would satisfy this.
She recently met a guy she really liked. Turned out he was into sissy play, which was not a dealbreaker for her. But they didn’t last very long.
The problem was that she found him exhausting. That meetings and interactions with him left her feeling drained and tired. That, of course, she was very happy to help him explore sissy play, but largely that’s all that conversations were.
It’s been a while since I did a diary post (or blog in general, sorry!) but this is one with so much adventure it feels like it shouldn’t be left out.
There is a lot of back story, so this might take some pulling together.
In 2019 there was an event called Messtival organised by Penny Banks.
Messtival was a film festival, and awards event, for splosh films.
You know when you’re at a club or party and someone catches your eye? You think, “Wow, they look amazing”, but then for any one of a million reasons you end up leaving having not said anything?
Well. That happens to me all the time.
But sometimes you end up following each other on Twitter and throw your hat in the ring when you see they’re looking at getting into filming and… boom… first film day of 2022.
Coming into 2021 there were different waves of optimism. I think we all kinda hoped covid would be “over” by now, but instead we’re in this weird hazy “learn to live with covid” phase which involves frequent testing, careful planning and vaccinations.
Whether of course you care about testing, planning or being vaccinated might differ – but you’re certainly in a world that does.
I didn’t really set targets for 2021 – and, if I’m honest, I was worried more of the year would be written off than actually was.
Certainly, planning for 2022 might be a touch more optimistic.
Although, new challenges await.
I first met Lady Valeska at a filming and Femdom event in Evesham back in 2019.
At the time my clip store was in it’s infancy, but she was really kind enough to let me use a one-on-one clip we’d done for her OnlyFans in my store – and that was both nice and unexpected.
Not just that but of course she was someone whose company I’d enjoyed being around over those couple of days.
So, there was always hope we’d do more again.
I know there’s a running joke about the “Hey, we should do something someday” and the amount of time it takes to, well, do something. But, I think meeting Miss Jessica Hyde was certainly on the excessive front time wise – at 18 months.
To be fair to both of us, there was a pandemic. But the day we both met was glorious, but also a little nerve wracking.
A bit of a trinity today.
Filming with Foxtress (our third film day together), Goddess Cleo (who we’ve talked about filming a few times in the past it’s just never happened) and Mistress Annaliese (on her first ever film day).
So, it’s cosy. Probably the most people I’ve seen in one room in.. ooh… a while.
For the longest time I was ashamed of my foot fetish.
I mean, it seems difficult. Something you can’t really control. But, for the longest time I struggled with it.
Now, well, there’s pictures and videos of me with a foot in my face and a pathetic grin – but there’s a reason for that grin. And, that’s partially acceptance.