Something that you may see talked about in some circles is the concept of a Mentor.
For example, someone might recommend someone seeks a mentor, or someone might feel they would benefit from having one and seek one out.
Like a lot of things within kink, it’s something where there’s sometimes misunderstanding of the role.
The purpose of this blog is to look at what a mentor is, what a mentor isn’t and whether you even need one in the first place.
A bit of a trinity today.
Filming with Foxtress (our third film day together), Goddess Cleo (who we’ve talked about filming a few times in the past it’s just never happened) and Mistress Annaliese (on her first ever film day).
So, it’s cosy. Probably the most people I’ve seen in one room in.. ooh… a while.
For the longest time I was ashamed of my foot fetish.
I mean, it seems difficult. Something you can’t really control. But, for the longest time I struggled with it.
Now, well, there’s pictures and videos of me with a foot in my face and a pathetic grin – but there’s a reason for that grin. And, that’s partially acceptance.
There is rarely a bad time to make steps in booking a first session with any form of provider (while this may follow a bias of ‘Professional Dominant’ – the logic applies to anything from Pro Subs to Full Service to anything else) – however, at the point we’re at in the pandemic when things are opening back up, it might feel like a good time – particularly if you’d previously felt you’d missed out or are looking to start getting active in kink.
Filming, and other opportunities, through the pandemic had been sparse.
A lot felt weird to diary about, so I didn’t, but many were low risk and low key. Literally myself, the lady and a tripod.
Today we have a camera operator – so there’s 3 of us!
I write a lot of clip descriptions – not just for myself but for others
Now, ultimately the purpose of a description is to provide an extra selling point – both kinda describing what is in the clip but also possibly selling a little bit of a fantasy.
I was half thinking a little – that, I literally did a clip the other week where the honesty was that I’d just finished a strap on clip with Miss Annaliese and Foxtress basically was – “I want a go” and dragged me into the hall for another clip.
Every now and then someone will make a blog, or post, or tweet about some form of “good practice” in kink.
This is usually based around everything from safety precautions, consent, scene negotiation, vetting, whatever.
And, every now and then. Someone will comment to say about how people are trying to make BDSM “safe” and “wrap it up in cotton wool”.
There are various straw arguments often get used (“Crossing the street isn’t safe!”, “Some people are attracted to the danger, so putting safety in place negates that!”, “Don’t tell me how to play!”) which I will look at also.
But, I dunno, is BDSM becoming “too safe”?
A common scenario I see from sub guys is this kinda dilemma.
They have, or had, a partner and the relationship has proceeded as relationships do. They’ve then perhaps raised a fetish, or dynamic, or idea and their partner just hasn’t warmed to it.
Perhaps they have a foot fetish and their partner is grossed by feet. Perhaps they want their partner to be “Dominant” and their partner just isn’t really interested.
So they then either accept this and the relationship continues. Or, this becomes something that ends. But it can feel like both have wasted time putting into a relationship that at least one could never be happy with.
To counter this. There are of course people who are very explicit in what they want. Be it they want a FLR. A partner who is Dominant. Who has certain kinks or fetishes. Who enjoys having their feet worshipped, or at least open to the idea.
Before I get to the obvious – this was something raised to me as a question as a suggestion for a blog.
The backstory goes as follows.
“There was a Mistress who made some posts about being poly and celebrating the virtues of it. But, she insisted her subs remained mono. She admitted she had double standards. It seems strange?”
Some of this unpacks some of the myths around poly and other shades of non-mono.
A common fantasy I see raised a lot is the idea of being a live-in slave.
Except, the fantasy is not presented as being a fantasy, but a goal.
Obviously there are people who have this type of relationship, under different structures and results. However, I feel many subs and slaves are often wide of the mark on.
Why you’re not getting the play or relationships you crave
People often want different things from their patriation in the fetish community (be participation signing up for websites or going to munches/events).
And while some people seem to have great relationships, get lots of play, so on – there are those who often struggle and get frustrated.
The purpose of this blog is to highlight some common failures and also a little ‘what you can do to increase prospects’.
Punishments in BDSM often get talked about, but it’s something that’s often a little misunderstood, especially from newcomers.
Experienced subs or Dominants might talk about being punished, or punishing their subs.
If you watch BDSM clips, or read descriptions, there are some common tropes which come up.
Often that the sub is being punished. This can be for something like being untidy, not cleaning up properly. It could be for something seemingly minor, say, not using capital protocol. Forgetting “Good night” or “Good morning” messages, whatever.