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Coming into 2021 there were different waves of optimism. I think we all kinda hoped covid would be “over” by now, but instead we’re in this weird hazy “learn to live with covid” phase which involves frequent testing, careful planning and vaccinations.
Whether of course you care about testing, planning or being vaccinated might differ – but you’re certainly in a world that does.
I didn’t really set targets for 2021 – and, if I’m honest, I was worried more of the year would be written off than actually was.
Certainly, planning for 2022 might be a touch more optimistic.
Although, new challenges await.
I often see (particularly) new subs who appear dejected at how difficult it is for them to find a Dominant/Mistress.
Particularly so if they feel they’re in a sea of scammers or people they’ve been talking to for a week who suddenly spring up about tribute. (Which is also likely to be a scam, as Pro’s may not have wasted their own time for a week.)
There’s a few quick advice I feel I often give to subs, which are summarised below.
I first met Lady Valeska at a filming and Femdom event in Evesham back in 2019.
At the time my clip store was in it’s infancy, but she was really kind enough to let me use a one-on-one clip we’d done for her OnlyFans in my store – and that was both nice and unexpected.
Not just that but of course she was someone whose company I’d enjoyed being around over those couple of days.
So, there was always hope we’d do more again.
I know there’s a running joke about the “Hey, we should do something someday” and the amount of time it takes to, well, do something. But, I think meeting Miss Jessica Hyde was certainly on the excessive front time wise – at 18 months.
To be fair to both of us, there was a pandemic. But the day we both met was glorious, but also a little nerve wracking.
With the new Mastercard regulations for the adult industry about to hit imminently, there has been some frantic changes in the past couple of weeks as sites roll out new ways to prepare for these.
There’s every chance the chaos could continue in the following few weeks if it appears sites are not prepared, and any grace periods or frantic changes “putting things right”.
Throw away comments like “we’ll just go to another site” become lost as – well, being card driven – all sites are affected.
Something that you may see talked about in some circles is the concept of a Mentor.
For example, someone might recommend someone seeks a mentor, or someone might feel they would benefit from having one and seek one out.
Like a lot of things within kink, it’s something where there’s sometimes misunderstanding of the role.
The purpose of this blog is to look at what a mentor is, what a mentor isn’t and whether you even need one in the first place.
A bit of a trinity today.
Filming with Foxtress (our third film day together), Goddess Cleo (who we’ve talked about filming a few times in the past it’s just never happened) and Mistress Annaliese (on her first ever film day).
So, it’s cosy. Probably the most people I’ve seen in one room in.. ooh… a while.
For the longest time I was ashamed of my foot fetish.
I mean, it seems difficult. Something you can’t really control. But, for the longest time I struggled with it.
Now, well, there’s pictures and videos of me with a foot in my face and a pathetic grin – but there’s a reason for that grin. And, that’s partially acceptance.
There is rarely a bad time to make steps in booking a first session with any form of provider (while this may follow a bias of ‘Professional Dominant’ – the logic applies to anything from Pro Subs to Full Service to anything else) – however, at the point we’re at in the pandemic when things are opening back up, it might feel like a good time – particularly if you’d previously felt you’d missed out or are looking to start getting active in kink.
Filming, and other opportunities, through the pandemic had been sparse.
A lot felt weird to diary about, so I didn’t, but many were low risk and low key. Literally myself, the lady and a tripod.
Today we have a camera operator – so there’s 3 of us!
I write a lot of clip descriptions – not just for myself but for others
Now, ultimately the purpose of a description is to provide an extra selling point – both kinda describing what is in the clip but also possibly selling a little bit of a fantasy.
I was half thinking a little – that, I literally did a clip the other week where the honesty was that I’d just finished a strap on clip with Miss Annaliese and Foxtress basically was – “I want a go” and dragged me into the hall for another clip.
Every now and then someone will make a blog, or post, or tweet about some form of “good practice” in kink.
This is usually based around everything from safety precautions, consent, scene negotiation, vetting, whatever.
And, every now and then. Someone will comment to say about how people are trying to make BDSM “safe” and “wrap it up in cotton wool”.
There are various straw arguments often get used (“Crossing the street isn’t safe!”, “Some people are attracted to the danger, so putting safety in place negates that!”, “Don’t tell me how to play!”) which I will look at also.
But, I dunno, is BDSM becoming “too safe”?