Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm blog

Diary : Filming with Lady Valeska

I first met Lady Valeska at a filming and Femdom event in Evesham back in 2019.

At the time my clip store was in it’s infancy, but she was really kind enough to let me use a one-on-one clip we’d done for her OnlyFans in my store – and that was both nice and unexpected.

Not just that but of course she was someone whose company I’d enjoyed being around over those couple of days.

So, there was always hope we’d do more again.

Diary : Finding Miss Hyde

I know there’s a running joke about the “Hey, we should do something someday” and the amount of time it takes to, well, do something.   But, I think meeting Miss Jessica Hyde was certainly on the excessive front time wise – at 18 months.

To be fair to both of us, there was a pandemic.  But the day we both met was glorious, but also a little nerve wracking.

Diary : A Trinity of Filming – Foxtress, Goddess Cleo and Miss Annaliese

A bit of a trinity today.

Filming with Foxtress (our third film day together), Goddess Cleo (who we’ve talked about filming a few times in the past it’s just never happened) and Mistress Annaliese (on her first ever film day).

So, it’s cosy.  Probably the most people I’ve seen in one room in.. ooh… a while.

Booking a Session with a Pro Domme

There is rarely a bad time to make steps in booking a first session with any form of provider (while this may follow a bias of ‘Professional Dominant’ – the logic applies to anything from Pro Subs to Full Service to anything else) – however, at the point we’re at in the pandemic when things are opening back up, it might feel like a good time – particularly if you’d previously felt you’d missed out or are looking to start getting active in kink.

Diary : Filming with Miss Wildfire

Filming, and other opportunities, through the pandemic had been sparse.

A lot felt weird to diary about, so I didn’t, but many were low risk and low key.  Literally myself, the lady and a tripod.

Today we have a camera operator – so there’s 3 of us!

The Fantasy of the Live-in Slave

. common fantasy I see raised a lot is the idea of being a live-in slave.

Except, the fantasy is not presented as being a fantasy, but a goal.

Obviously there are people who have this type of relationship, under different structures and results.  However, I feel many subs and slaves are often wide of the mark on.

Why you’re not getting the play or relationships you crave

Why you’re not getting the play or relationships you crave

People often want different things from their patriation in the fetish community (be participation signing up for websites or going to munches/events).

And while some people seem to have great relationships, get lots of play, so on – there are those who often struggle and get frustrated.

The purpose of this blog is to highlight some common failures and also a little ‘what you can do to increase prospects’.

Punishments in BDSM

Punishments in BDSM often get talked about, but it’s something that’s often a little misunderstood, especially from newcomers.

Experienced subs or Dominants might talk about being punished, or punishing their subs.
If you watch BDSM clips, or read descriptions, there are some common tropes which come up.

Often that the sub is being punished.  This can be for something like being untidy, not cleaning up properly.  It could be for something seemingly minor, say, not using capital protocol. Forgetting “Good night” or “Good morning” messages, whatever. read more

My Partner Said No to My Fetish – How Do I Change Her Mind?

A couple of messages (some of specific scenarios, some generally being a form of FAQ) has led me to start a new Agony Aunt category.

Consider that my advice is based solely on my experience.

I want to start with an extremely common question I’ve heard/answered which I’ve paraphrased below.

“I have told my wife/girlfriend/partner about my fetish/fantasy.   Unfortunately, they have said no – they won’t do/try this with me.  How can I get them to do this for/with me?”

Diary : A Return to filming / with Goddexx Althea

I don’t diary every filming day or private session (not that I’ve had a private session in a while… another story for another day) but I almost started to regret that with the pandemic and shut down.

So, the filming day I had with Georgie Girl back on March 16th didn’t get a diary post (sorry!) and it’s been 5 whole months without any filming.

Or seeing anyone.

Or leaving my hometown.

Fuck.

I’d put my own plans to return to filming back more than once.  Either to comply with guidance or for my own concerns/safety/responsibility.

Do you have to be submissive to enjoy kink?

Do you have to be submissive to enjoy kink?

One thing I’ve learnt over the years is that a lot of people who are, or think they are, submissive often get confused on what this entails.

That, not everyone on the “right of the slash” is actually submissive.

I’m not saying that that is any kind of bad thing.

But there’s a world of difference, for example, between someone who is a submissive and someone who is a masochist.

But, either are valid.

CLOSE TO HOME

Within myself I’ve obviously had my own questions over the years on as of if I’m actually submissive. read more

Beware the Carrot and the Stick

The image of a carrot and a stick comes from the old cartoons.

Someone is sitting on a donkey, dangling a carrot in front of its nose by a stick.

This causes the donkey to move forwards, chasing the carrot it cannot reasonably reach.  A joke that it’s too dumb to realise it’s being exploited for it’s labour.

The thing is, of course.  This could continue infinitum until the labour is no longer required (carrot removed) or until the donkey collapses with exhaustion.

It’s important to avoid being the donkey here and also, well, also not to try this with people. Voluntarily or otherwise. read more

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