Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm blog

Are you a vampire sub?

I’d been talking to a friend the other day.  She has been dating and looking for a kinky partner.   Although she is a switch, though it is not important to her that a partner would satisfy this.

She recently met a guy she really liked. Turned out he was into sissy play, which was not a dealbreaker for her.   But they didn’t last very long.

The problem was that she found him exhausting.  That meetings and interactions with him left her feeling drained and tired.  That, of course, she was very happy to help him explore sissy play, but largely that’s all that conversations were.

The Problem With Limits – They’re Not Exhaustive

One of my favourite stories about consent, limits, and communication sums up some of my general feelings about the problem with ‘limits’ sometimes.

The story goes.

A shibari specialist was offering play and doing demos involving a queue of volunteers.
If you are good at rope, there’s rarely a shortage of people wanting to try or play.

Some people just wanted to be tied and suspended. Some also wanted a little play. If you are suspended then any form of sensation play can be fun – wax play particularly.

Pineapple on Pizza : Not Wanting to do certain kinks doesn’t mean others shouldn’t

I was in a conference the other day and, for some bizarre reason, they closed by asking the presenters “does pineapple go on pizza?”

My thought on this was what a bizarre way to end the day – and none of the answers were pretty insightful.

But, this did inspire a thought about that question in general.

It is one that is often divisive. To the point people really will argue over fucking anything.

Diary : Meeting Miss Cate McQueen

You know when you’re at a club or party and someone catches your eye?   You think, “Wow, they look amazing”, but then for any one of a million reasons you end up leaving having not said anything?

Well. That happens to me all the time.

But sometimes you end up following each other on Twitter and throw your hat in the ring when you see they’re looking at getting into filming and… boom… first film day of 2022.

Diary : Filming with Lady Valeska

I first met Lady Valeska at a filming and Femdom event in Evesham back in 2019.

At the time my clip store was in it’s infancy, but she was really kind enough to let me use a one-on-one clip we’d done for her OnlyFans in my store – and that was both nice and unexpected.

Not just that but of course she was someone whose company I’d enjoyed being around over those couple of days.

So, there was always hope we’d do more again.

Diary : Finding Miss Hyde

I know there’s a running joke about the “Hey, we should do something someday” and the amount of time it takes to, well, do something.   But, I think meeting Miss Jessica Hyde was certainly on the excessive front time wise – at 18 months.

To be fair to both of us, there was a pandemic.  But the day we both met was glorious, but also a little nerve wracking.

Diary : A Trinity of Filming – Foxtress, Goddess Cleo and Miss Annaliese

A bit of a trinity today.

Filming with Foxtress (our third film day together), Goddess Cleo (who we’ve talked about filming a few times in the past it’s just never happened) and Mistress Annaliese (on her first ever film day).

So, it’s cosy.  Probably the most people I’ve seen in one room in.. ooh… a while.

Booking a Session with a Pro Domme

There is rarely a bad time to make steps in booking a first session with any form of provider (while this may follow a bias of ‘Professional Dominant’ – the logic applies to anything from Pro Subs to Full Service to anything else) – however, at the point we’re at in the pandemic when things are opening back up, it might feel like a good time – particularly if you’d previously felt you’d missed out or are looking to start getting active in kink.

Diary : Filming with Miss Wildfire

Filming, and other opportunities, through the pandemic had been sparse.

A lot felt weird to diary about, so I didn’t, but many were low risk and low key.  Literally myself, the lady and a tripod.

Today we have a camera operator – so there’s 3 of us!

The Fantasy of the Live-in Slave

A common fantasy I see raised a lot is the idea of being a live-in slave.

Except, the fantasy is not presented as being a fantasy, but a goal.

Obviously there are people who have this type of relationship, under different structures and results.  However, I feel many subs and slaves are often wide of the mark on.

Why you’re not getting the play or relationships you crave

Why you’re not getting the play or relationships you crave

People often want different things from their patriation in the fetish community (be participation signing up for websites or going to munches/events).

And while some people seem to have great relationships, get lots of play, so on – there are those who often struggle and get frustrated.

The purpose of this blog is to highlight some common failures and also a little ‘what you can do to increase prospects’.

Punishments in BDSM

Punishments in BDSM often get talked about, but it’s something that’s often a little misunderstood, especially from newcomers.

Experienced subs or Dominants might talk about being punished, or punishing their subs.
If you watch BDSM clips, or read descriptions, there are some common tropes which come up.

Often that the sub is being punished.  This can be for something like being untidy, not cleaning up properly.  It could be for something seemingly minor, say, not using capital protocol. Forgetting “Good night” or “Good morning” messages, whatever. read more

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