Whilst none of us have a crystal ball, I think one of the next things to come to terms with is that restrictions to cope with the covid19 outbreak are not here for the short-term.
I appreciate a lot of the posts of optimism, but it’s important to also prepare for reality.
There’s a nice upbeat meme on Facebook.
Imagine when lockdown is over – we’d all be running outside our houses, hugging each other. Ringing Nan to say, “Pop the kettle on I’m coming over”. Imagine that first pint in the pub.
It’s a nice feel good fantasy.
There Should be an app for that – why your favourite fetish and sex sites don’t have an app
There’s a whole bunch of sex and fetish websites that people will state they feel there should be an app for.
I don’t want to sound like “old man shouts at cloud” when I say I sometimes don’t understand the obsession for apps (said as someone with pages and pages of them on my phone) particularly when there’s an otherwise functioning and mobile optimised website.
I’ve found over the last 12 months or so a growing number of people who’ve expressed interest in filming – but trying to sort it out is somewhat trickier than it should seem.
I’ve been plotting a few regular trips to London this year, for a mixture of music and fetish events.
So, the opportunity to go to a concert I’d wanted to see and try to arrange some filming around it seemed a good idea.
In reality, ended up with one day filming out of 3 possible days – but it was certainly a quality over quantity situation when that one day was with AMY WYNTERS.
There’s probably a whole raft of blogs I could write on covid19. Not that I’m a particular expert, I’m not saying that, but on how it’s going to affect us in kink.
Some clubs and events went before the government asked venues to close. The rest obviously have had their hands forced.
While there may very well be some trying to host mini parties, filming events, sessions or meet – currently the advice is, well, not to.
So, unless you live with your Dominant/submissive/play-partner your ability to serve/interact/indulge in kink is likely to be somewhat limited.
And we’ve only just started.
I feel I’ve been a bit lax in doing the diary posts for some of the filming days and so wanted to get back on it.
I think part the problem was I was doing a lot of filming very bundled together in a short space of time. I’m not sure.
So. 2019 finished on a high with a filming day with Devon Breeze and Princess Organa to the extent that I walked out thinking “yeah, I can be done for the year – I’m happy with that”
It was almost 2 months later before my next filming day – which was filming with Miss Kendal for Fetish SINema.
There’s something important that easy to forget about the industry and lifestyle in general. Sex work is a luxury.
Access to it is a luxury; not a right.
Your needs in life are food, water, shelter.
Even if you move up the hierarchy of needs; sex, kinks and fetishes are not on there.
I think something I want to make as a point is that sometimes how you respond to an incident or allegations can often say as much about you as the actual incident or allegation.
So if, for example, there’s a high profile sexual assault case and you start picking apart the victims story (which simultaneously complaining about ‘trial by social media’) what this does is it tells your friend, family, clients, customers, so on that you would do the same with them.
From a lot of this; one buzz phrase I think is overused and irresponsible is ‘Personal Responsibility’.
Within the kink and fetish scene in particular a lot of things are not black and white.
I feel that in a couple of recent posts [including my recent blog post] and some comments I’ve made on social media that, there’s things I’ve implied that take away from somewhat of a core message.
Without wishing to defend myself too much; I find a big problem is trying to keep blogs down from being epic opuses, when there’s so many branch points off.
But, not just me – there’s something many others are missing, forgetting, or not always relaying…
So – subs, would be subs, slaves and would be slaves.
The most important message you should constantly be drilling through your head is…
Ask not what your Dominant can do for you; ask what you can do for your Dominant.
This is a blog I think a number of conversations and more has led me to write; but it’s arguably controversial.
“Does she really like me, or is it purely financial?”
I suppose a counter argument could be from a Dominant, “Does the sub really like me or the fantasy of me? The fetishes? So on”
The real questions you should be asking are:
Am I enjoying myself?
Am I happy with how things are going?
In previous years I’ve retweeted out some of my most read blogs of the year, but this time I thought I’d put them all in one link.
There’s been a mixed bag of the educational, the funny and the diaries… so, a good chance to catch up on some you may have missed.
Re-reading my 2018 review I couldn’t help but get a sense of de ja vous.
Initially, I’d tried and failed to write a 2019 write-up I was happy with.
That, as I’m sure most people will know, I find it important to be open, honest and authentic.
Presenting “everything is wonderful” ignores some of the bad times and struggles and sometimes glosses over emotions.