Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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How to Build a Sex Room : Review

I just finished ‘How to Build a Sex Room’ on Netflix and this is my review.

First off. Any form of positive representation of kink or sex is a good thing.
And most of it was a positive representation.

10 Tips for a Content Share Shoot

Content share shoots are extremely common.
In these two (or more) performers/creators/whatever-we’re-called-this-week come together and pool resources, share workload, and split costs in order to produce clips.
The collaborative approach is also often a way to be introduced to someone else’s fanbase, which can give a publicity boost.

However, content share shoots can also be a source of frustration. For example if someone feels that what they got out of the day wasn’t representative of what they put in, or confusion over the release of clips.

There are also a lot of inexperienced chancers who try to gain kink or sex under the guise of “content share shoot”.

My following tips and suggestions are non-exhaustive.  But, should help create a successful shoot.

Making Clips : Don’t Fix it All in the Edit

One of the most important bits of advice I will give to anyone who is making clips is… the more you get right when shooting, the cheaper it is to edit.

Editing software is amazing, and there are so many cool features available on home computers, and even apps, which can edit, enhance or correct your clips.

I won’t say it can’t work miracles, because it can.
There are restored TV shows where someone filmed the TV screen with a projector and recorded the sound with a tape recorder in front of the TV that someone has been able to completely clean up and release as remastered and rediscovered episode.

So if someone can do that, they can get rid of the noise from the fan you left on, brighten the poorly lit room you shot in, get rid of the rubbish you left on the side, blur out a sub’s face who forgot his mask AND fix your make up – right?

The Problem With Limits – They’re Not Exhaustive

One of my favourite stories about consent, limits, and communication sums up some of my general feelings about the problem with ‘limits’ sometimes.

The story goes.

A shibari specialist was offering play and doing demos involving a queue of volunteers.
If you are good at rope, there’s rarely a shortage of people wanting to try or play.

Some people just wanted to be tied and suspended. Some also wanted a little play. If you are suspended then any form of sensation play can be fun – wax play particularly.

Diary : Messtival and Filming with Roxy-Fox and Araneae

It’s been a while since I did a diary post (or blog in general, sorry!) but this is one with so much adventure it feels like it shouldn’t be left out.

There is a lot of back story, so this might take some pulling together.

In 2019 there was an event called Messtival organised by Penny Banks.
Messtival was a film festival, and awards event, for splosh films.

New Adult Platforms – legitimate, misguided, or a scam?

This feels maybe like an article that should/could have been made 6 months ago, but some of the events of the past 6 months make this as valid as ever.

Most weeks (probably most days even) it feels like there’s a new adult platform, application, or service springing up from somewhere and – with advice sometimes being to diversify what platforms you are on, it is difficult to know where to sign up to. So, I come with some advice and warnings.

Kinky People (to the tune of ‘Common People’)

He came online and had a raging boner
he bothered women like a stupid loner
That’s where She,
Got his mail

He said he he wanted to be her servant,
She said, “In that case I’ll have a tribute
He said why?
And in thirty seconds time he said,

I want to live like kinky people,
I want to do whatever kinky people do,
I want to sleep with kinky people,
I want to sleep with kinky people,
Like you.

Pineapple on Pizza : Not Wanting to do certain kinks doesn’t mean others shouldn’t

I was in a conference the other day and, for some bizarre reason, they closed by asking the presenters “does pineapple go on pizza?”

My thought on this was what a bizarre way to end the day – and none of the answers were pretty insightful.

But, this did inspire a thought about that question in general.

It is one that is often divisive. To the point people really will argue over fucking anything.

Diary : Meeting Miss Cate McQueen

You know when you’re at a club or party and someone catches your eye?   You think, “Wow, they look amazing”, but then for any one of a million reasons you end up leaving having not said anything?

Well. That happens to me all the time.

But sometimes you end up following each other on Twitter and throw your hat in the ring when you see they’re looking at getting into filming and… boom… first film day of 2022.

“I’ve broken up with a long term vanilla partner – how do I get into kink?”

This is a question I answered recently on a forum, that I’ve seen variants of so much over the years… so I’m answering it here.

“I have recently broken up with my partner of several years.   I have always been a little curious about kink, so would like to take this as an opportunity to explore.

I have many fantasies or fetishes I’d like to explore, but this is all new to me. I don’t know my limits.

Where do I start? How Do I get into kink?”

2021 in Review : A Glimpse of Normal Service

Coming into 2021 there were different waves of optimism.  I think we all kinda hoped covid would be “over” by now, but instead we’re in this weird hazy “learn to live with covid” phase which involves frequent testing, careful planning and vaccinations.

Whether of course you care about testing, planning or being vaccinated might differ – but you’re certainly in a world that does.

I didn’t really set targets for 2021 – and, if I’m honest, I was worried more of the year would be written off than actually was.

Certainly, planning for 2022 might be a touch more optimistic.

Although, new challenges await.

10 Pieces of Advice for (new) Subs

I often see (particularly) new subs who appear dejected at how difficult it is for them to find a Dominant/Mistress.

Particularly so if they feel they’re in a sea of scammers or people they’ve been talking to for a week who suddenly spring up about tribute. (Which is also likely to be a scam, as Pro’s may not have wasted their own time for a week.)

There’s a few quick advice I feel I often give to subs, which are summarised below.

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