eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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Diary : Meeting Miss Jasmine

“What you going to write? That we drank tea and talked?”
“Maybe I will…”

It’s funny, really. And an important reminder of the importance of doing things without set expectations and to enjoy taking things as they come.

Bonding far from perfect? Yeah, but so is our own industry.

Although this blog post isn’t about the TV show ‘Bonding’ it is partially inspired by it.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show – it’s a Netflix show regarding a young Dominatrix recruiting her high-school friend as an assistant.
It’s 7 short episodes – around 15 minutes each – and has created a little bit debate regarding a few factors.

Obviously, I’m in full support that some are unhappy that the main character has an in-character account on Twitter, with a blue tick; when actual Dominants and sex workers find themselves shadow-banned.
It also fails to showcase some of the external factors against the industry (example SESTA/FOSTA or the threat of the Nordic Model in the UK) – and she seems to walk around with little consequences. read more

Feeling more like myself

I’m not going to lie, I’ve found things fairly tough for a while now.
It’s felt a bit that just as one thing was going right or getting sorted another thing was going wrong and it’s felt like constant firefighting for, well, pretty much 18 months or so.

This has led to some really, really, low points – and I’m grateful to those who tried to support me at the time.

Diary : Filming with Nina Hiss – and a clip landmark

It wasn’t an intention to go for a landmark number of clips; but, perhaps that in itself was why doing my 200th clip was so valuable.

I’d talked on and off about doing some filming with Nina Hiss – and good fortune had meant that she was available at a time I was in London anyway for a concert.

“Lucky Slave?” – actually, yes, we’re all lucky.

Maybe there’s some stock in “lucky slave”
As some of you probably know, I despise the term “lucky slave” – usually written in a comment to a picture or clip (specifically, the 7 second trailer!)
An often common response is either…
– he’s not lucky, he booked a session and turned up
or
– he’s not lucky, he earned it.

Learning from my mistakes.

Over the past few months I’ve been making mistakes.
Lots of mistakes.  Many quite small and many not noticeable until they all compound at the end.
In a nutshell – a lot stems to ultimately, unfairly relying on and pressurising others for my happiness.
The overall result of this was that it increased my own unhappiness and was a major factor in a breakdown of a relationship.
I raise these here with a very simple view.  That, if you’re not entirely happy – to make sure that you are managing it.  Whether that’s from your own actions, or recognising it others and trying to point them to the right step.

Diary : The Past 8 Months

I sat the other day and felt I hadn’t made a diary post in quite some time.

I then looked over and found there’d been just one diary style post within the last 8 months – and that was a “behind the scenes” style post.

Now. Sometimes, I do things and don’t want to diary things. That I just want things to be retained as a special memory, rather than documenting things making my kink journey some form of Truman Show.

Before commenting on others pictures…

I know there’s a temptation when you see someone’s photo/clip/etc that you like to put in a comment and “interact”.

Now, I think this can be an encouraging way to show appreciation (especially if you’ve actually bought the clip, when relevant) but before you put your fingers on the keyboard and start dancing across with one hand – here are some things to think about and consider.

DOES MY COMMENT ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING?

A fetlife love, or a twitter retweet, will put the item into people’s feeds without you having to mash the keyboard in the name of ‘crumbs’. read more

How to book a session with a NON Professional.

Recently, I’ve seen a couple of comments from female Dominants who do not work Professionally.  That there are men who try to “book them” as if they were a Pro.

There’s a couple of frustrations that Ladies like this understandably have which ultimately comes down to, well, poor male logic.

A lot of guys who claim to be submissive aren’t actually interested in a D/s or FLR relationship – what they’re really, ultimately, interested in is Pro-Domme sessions without paying for a Pro-Domme session.

15 things fetishists should stop doing

I started this as foot fetish, but then quickly realised it was transferable elsewhere.

So, here it is – if you’ve got a fetish and not really getting what you want, here’s a bunch of things you maybe should stop doing in order to boost your chances.

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