I was recently in a Twitter discussion regarding self-esteem. A question being that : How can a a sub maintain healthy self-esteem in a D/s relationship as an “Inferior”?
I think there is a lot of language used, especially online, which comes across this way. But the reality should be a little different.
It’s been a while since I last did the ‘Mistress Profile’ series – and so, about time it came back. There are three I’ve already got ready and hopefully more to follow.
First off, I’m going to start with someone I had the pleasure of finally meeting earlier this year and we’ve since met up a couple of times for filming and wrestling.
As often, there’s been continuous talk on the shadowban and assorted theories on how to beat it or avoid it.
This doesn’t help that it seems a fair few sex workers, and others from the adult industry, awoke on Friday morning asking to verify their Twitter account with a phone number.
While on one hand, this seems like another purge/attack on the industry. It is more likely to be a sweep aimed at picking up those who are suspected of being bots.
There’s an alarming regularity that someone will write on a forum something like “Why is it hard to find a Domme?”, “Where are all the Dommes?”, “My fetish is a bit niche so it’s hard to find someone…”
To a degree. I get it. Your copy paste message didn’t yield a response. That one person you were talking to stopped replying. You attended 3 munches or one club and didn’t get any play.
And, you’re disappointed because you feel you put effort in and got nothing back.
So, then… you make the post “Why is it so haaaaaaard….?” and that doesn’t actually help your case, and I’m going to explain why.
I often thought I was cursed with Mixed Wrestling.
It’d been something I’d be curious to be involved in; every time I tried to sort something, something would happen.
Injuries, last minute problems, someone else just pipping me on applying on shoots or whatever.
This is not (just) about Findom.
There’s a lot within fetish and BDSM, particularly when you’re new, or meet somebody new, there can be a temptation to “spend now, worry about it later”
This could be because you want to make a good impression. Or it could be that you would rather do something NOW and pay it off than wait in the hope you can afford the time later. Fearing you will miss opportunities.
This is something that is largely a joint responsibility, but largely that on the sub.
Unless you have an arrangement, expecting your Dominant to be responsible for your spending/finances is extra labour on them. Ultimately, they can’t do anything about it if you’re not sure and crystal honest yourself.
And, also, unless you’re exclusive to one person – then nobody can babysit your finances for you.
Here’s some tips to follow
After a busy May, June needed to be a little quieter. But, things for July seemed to slot neatly.
This blog covers the weekend of 4th-6th July – some further antics will be in future blogs.
I’ve already written a blog about a visit to Club DVS, although the plan for the weekend was to go down and do a little filming and go to the club, it turned into a little more.
Often a lot of my blogs work for one audience ahead of another – but this is generally one for everyone who is likely to read.
I know many of you probably already get routinely checked and take practices seriously.
But, if you don’t – I don’t wish to be preachy but encouraging.
I knew it was something I really kinda should do – but, just, well, didn’t.
It was actually during a very busy period where the conversation came back up and I felt I really should look into getting checked – and, also as it happens, during this period I did suffer (what turned out to be) damage to the tip of my penis which of course made me know – I HAVE to get things checked out.
I have been incredibly and wonderfully busy recently – the downside of this is that it’s been really difficult to individually blog all of the experiences.
Though, I don’t like to blog *everything* for assorted reasons.
I’ve not really touched on it in my blog, but I am no longer in service to Miss Suzanna.
All anyone needs to know is that I’m no longer in service to her and that we’d both like to remain friends.
There’s a lot of clubs that I’ve been fortunate enough to have visited. I can’t think of any active events that I’d not recommend; but certainly some that I find easier to universally recommend.
I like what Club DVS are doing. They have a munch, a workshop and a club night that do work as a little bit of a trinity.
So, you can in theory go to the munch and meet people you are likely to see at the club; you can also boost your knowledge at the workshops.
I recently had a thought about mental health – and a kind of, how well do we communicate our needs within fetish and BDSM.
I realised that this was something myself I could do better, but I was interested about a wider base.
Most Dominants have a section about health needs on their contact forms, or encourage info of health considerations to be volunteered.
So, it’s here. My own Femdom clipstore.
Who’d have thought it?
When I first started filming 3 years ago it was a little bit “Wouldn’t this be fun to do sometime”. Things have come a little way since then.
Of course the idea of my own store drifted in and out, but it wasn’t one I really felt I’d ever do.