eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

Tag

bdsm opinion

Surprising things that get you shadowbanned

As often, there’s been continuous talk on the shadowban and assorted theories on how to beat it or avoid it.

This doesn’t help that it seems a fair few sex workers, and others from the adult industry, awoke on Friday morning asking to verify their Twitter account with a phone number.

While on one hand, this seems like another purge/attack on the industry. It is more likely to be a sweep aimed at picking up those who are suspected of being bots.

“Why is it hard to find a Domme?” – and other things not to say.

There’s an alarming regularity that someone will write on a forum something like “Why is it hard to find a Domme?”, “Where are all the Dommes?”, “My fetish is a bit niche so it’s hard to find someone…”

To a degree. I get it. Your copy paste message didn’t yield a response. That one person you were talking to stopped replying. You attended 3 munches or one club and didn’t get any play.
And, you’re disappointed because you feel you put effort in and got nothing back.

So, then… you make the post “Why is it so haaaaaaard….?” and that doesn’t actually help your case, and I’m going to explain why.

Being Good Enough

One of the things you may know I’ve struggled with in the past of the feeling of “being good enough”. Because there’s always someone prettier, richer, can take more, more popular, has better contacts, has a specialist ability, so on.

Now. You don’t need to be “the best” to exceed the minimum standards. That’s something important.

Bonding far from perfect? Yeah, but so is our own industry.

Although this blog post isn’t about the TV show ‘Bonding’ it is partially inspired by it.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show – it’s a Netflix show regarding a young Dominatrix recruiting her high-school friend as an assistant.
It’s 7 short episodes – around 15 minutes each – and has created a little bit debate regarding a few factors.

Obviously, I’m in full support that some are unhappy that the main character has an in-character account on Twitter, with a blue tick; when actual Dominants and sex workers find themselves shadow-banned.
It also fails to showcase some of the external factors against the industry (example SESTA/FOSTA or the threat of the Nordic Model in the UK) – and she seems to walk around with little consequences. read more

“Lucky Slave?” – actually, yes, we’re all lucky.

Maybe there’s some stock in “lucky slave”
As some of you probably know, I despise the term “lucky slave” – usually written in a comment to a picture or clip (specifically, the 7 second trailer!)
An often common response is either…
– he’s not lucky, he booked a session and turned up
or
– he’s not lucky, he earned it.

Is submission truly selfless?

Is submission truly selfless?

Something that I had struggled with in the past was around whether or not my actions were “selfless”.

Part of this stemmed from a moment a while ago when two Ladies were discussing guys in general and as I pottered around tidying up, one said “They’re not selfless, not like this one”.

What should have been a compliment, actually led me to have a lot of thinking. I didn’t see myself as being selfless. I want to be useful so that people will keep me around. read more

Finding the right Dominant for you : some vetting tips.

So.
You’re scrolling through Twitter or Fetlife or wherever and see photos or mention of someone that makes you go “ooh”.
Perhaps this could be a picture or clip of someone you’ve found attractive or maybe something they’ve said that reasons with your mind.

There’s a little part of your brain spikes up and goes “I simply have to meet this person”.

Of course in a lot of cases a lot of initial horniness takes over – and is where we get a lot of the stupid from – but again to cut this quicker you’re a rational person and can manage to type with hands above the keyboard and begin to type an application to serve or book a session.

Which, um, is still some of the horniness taking over.

In some of these steps  that follow are things to consider to help increase the chances of the person being right for you on whatever basis.

The purpose of this blog serves for an almost pre-contact vetting.  I may continue this series for almost ongoing vetting.

Fantasy v Reality : If it’s real to you, it’s real

My thoughts on Fantasy v Reality take a little bit of a twist today.

See, I had intended on following up my, more lighthearted, post – with something more serious about some of my struggles.

But, instead I decided on another angle.

For this I need to give you an anecdote of something that happened 2 years ago.

Grab a chair and get comfy

I was around a week away from what would be my second session with a Pro Domme. It was the same Lady as my first session, but, we’d had a lot of fun and wanted to do it again – and – some things we’d wanted to develop a little. read more

Back to Basics : Profile Pitfalls

Profile Pitfalls

I’m not sure if this is one for a ‘Back to Basics’ article – or – an opinion piece in it’s own right. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, I was on a website the other day and there was a guy hoping to find a Mistress* and was seeking advice on improving his profile to make him more appealing.
(*mind, this blog is going to be a bit more than F/m D/s)

Like many things, I feel there’s no correct solution. There are, however, lots of things that are wrong or disadvantage you.

Fantasy v Reality : Mistakes Many Make

There’s been a lot on my mind lately regarding fantasy vs reality.

While, perhaps, a deeper blog on my thought process could be one “for the future” – this blog here is more designed at some of the many pitfalls that some seem to confuse.

The list is non-exhaustive.

© 2019 eyemblacksheep — Powered by WordPress

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑