Something that has been a struggle for me at times has been jealousy.
I want to talk about some of my struggles and spirals.
Some of this I drafted when feeling quite low, but a lot was written or reviewed when I was in a good place.
I think that’s also something extremely important, to be able to review how you felt – to be able to manage things in the future.
I would imagine that most/many subs have similar feelings.
It may even be that Dominants have similar, I don’t know. They probably do.
Am I even kinky?
I asked myself that today. Well. Today as of when I’m writing this blog, so in reality probably a different day.
And, I know others have had similar thought processes.
It is an extension, of course, on a previous thought of “Am I really a sub?”
The very first time I filmed with House of Sinn was before I even started this blog/diary.
The second time was something I didn’t write about, because I don’t diary everything. To go 3 times without writing about them, especially on such a big experience, well, that’d be a travesty.
Submission isn’t always black and white
One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.
Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.
Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.
There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.
A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.
The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.
So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.
In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.
As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.
One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.
Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.
My first topic…
Munches.
Whilst ideas and inspirations for new blogs are brewing, including a couple of drafts already written, I wanted to reflect on why I do this blog in the first place.
Whilst it’s certainly evolved from the early days, some of the core reasons for doing this have to go into every post, else I feel I’m doing it wrong.
Initially, I started just with ad hoc writings on Fetlife.
Usually unplanned, knee jerk, reflecting on how I either felt at the time, or in response of something happening.
In ways. These are probably some of my best. In ways.
It’s fitting that I re-wrote my ‘2017 in review’ because I didn’t like the initial tone, so I’ve also re-written my ‘aims for 2018’ post, likewise.
Click image to read on….
My first 2017 retrospective I wrote, I wasn’t very happy with.
While it did focus on some highs – and lows – of this year : there’s things it didn’t quite capture.
This HAS been a very good year for me – and that goes beyond dispute.
It has also had lots of challenges, frustrations and lows.
So. I’m instead going to write a lessons of 2017 – for myself to learn from and, possibly there’s something in there would benefit others.
I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.
Be it:
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
or
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.
On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.
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