There’s something important that easy to forget about the industry and lifestyle in general. Sex work is a luxury.
Access to it is a luxury; not a right.
Your needs in life are food, water, shelter.
Even if you move up the hierarchy of needs; sex, kinks and fetishes are not on there.
A lot of this can feed into entitlement. Your want to indulge in one fetish or another carries no requirement for someone else to do this with you.
Sex workers (and fetish clubs, events, etc) are luxury items.
While they could feed into your other needs (social, acceptance, etc.) there are other ways to accomplish those.
So. If you think someone sets tributes too high (or is wrong for even asking a tribute) or that a club is too expensive and fetish wear isn’t cheap – then – the problem is on you.
It doesn’t matter if someone else has cheaper rates, or if another club is more relaxed on policy. You want to go be with that person or go to that place.
They can choose their boundaries. They can set their requirements for the minimum standard of clientele they want.
If you don’t meet this level; you either have to work up to it, go without, or – well – look elsewhere.
This is a core and important message that may well feed into other blogs of mine in the future.
Of course. This can be sobering in the sense you can feel you were regular/loyal/dedicated to someone who then no longer provided attention should you fall on hard times or are unable to reach to their raised rates.
But, nobody owes you their time or attention in furnishing your kink or fetishes.
Of course, this might affect your own future decisions should things resolve for you. But, that’s a separate issue.
Another separate issue is there is a lot of classism within the scene and industry. I feel this is something that also deserves it’s own blog which is something I will write in the future.
Sex work is a luxury.
Nobody owes you sex, fetish, kink.
If you ‘fall short’; they don’t need to lower their standards, you need to up your game.
If you got someone a gift, it’s a gift – they don’t owe you eternal gratitude or even a conversation. (Mind, a nod of acknowledgement is nice. But, then, it’s up to you what you do in future based on their response – whether it’s to ‘try harder’ or no longer proceed)
If you keep remembering this, it may help stop you slipping into entitlement.
Obviously of course, this can feel restrictive if you’ve low disposable income or have to travel. I know that pain all too well.
But, I dunno, the dungeon the person pays to hire or maintain isn’t going to suddenly get cheaper because they’ve accepted a lower rate.
I guess you could test that point by phoning your mobile provider, TV package, council tax, rent, mortgage, etc. and asking to pay less for the same service and see how far it gets you.(And, hey, if it works you’ll have more income to pay into the lifestyle)