Tag
bdsm opinion
How to Find a Mistress
I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.
“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”
Or varients.
There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.
The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.
So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.
In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.
As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.
One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.
Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.
My first topic…
Munches.
Whilst ideas and inspirations for new blogs are brewing, including a couple of drafts already written, I wanted to reflect on why I do this blog in the first place.
Whilst it’s certainly evolved from the early days, some of the core reasons for doing this have to go into every post, else I feel I’m doing it wrong.
Initially, I started just with ad hoc writings on Fetlife.
Usually unplanned, knee jerk, reflecting on how I either felt at the time, or in response of something happening.
In ways. These are probably some of my best. In ways.
We’re barely into January and there’s already the rumbling of those who maybe made their New Years Resolution “Explore my kink side”.
I kinda get the “New Year” thing. That perhaps there’s something in your life you’ve been putting off doing, for whatever reason, so the turn of the calendar year can be a prompt to do it.
Or of course, it’s easier to think in targets against a calendar year.
I also know newcomers come in all different shapes and sizes – be it people with experience coming back… couples looking to enhance their relationship… those looking for a relationship… those seeking to explore fantasies… so forth.
Some of this is all great stuff.
I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.
Be it:
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
or
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.
On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.
Different Types of Timewaster
And, how not to be one.
We all know about deliberate and blatant timewasters – though, we often assume timewaster = someone who books a session and doesn’t show, or overmilks a conversation without a firm booking. Or pretends to have bought something from a Wishlist (perhaps even buys, sends ‘proof’ then cancels the order)
They know exactly what they’re doing.
I’ve heard this call a lot over the years. Recently a couple of threads on Twitter and Fetlife have prompted me to this mini burst.
Without addressing any specific points.
There’s no such thing as free
I’m going to address this by talking about some of the experiences of myself and my wife and arguably some of the others I’ve played with without tribute.
As some of you know, I’ve a bit of a background in the music industry (often described as “my other expensive hobby” – though, neither I see as hobbies, moreso lifestyles – but hey ho)
I’ve often seen many parallels between the music industry and the Femdom industry. So much so it’s scary.
There’s been a rise recently in Premiem Content playforms, by that I mean stuff like OnlyFans, Premium Snapchat and a few other bits popping up here and there.
Inevitably, this has led to a rise in disapproval in them, be this from those outspoken against them, or those frustrated content they want is behind a paywall.
For those frustrated.
That’s the point.
I don’t know if anyone else has any form of routine in preparing for a session.
Now. I’m writing this two-fold, one to share what I do : and two, possibly it may help others. Others either being a Mistress I’m going to see or film with, or other subs to help them get more out of things.