I’d seen a few comments around, what amounts to, pick up play.
Including people looking for it, those who’d engaged in it and had issues – and – I felt, this could be a good topic for a Back to Basics Blog.

I guess the first question is “What is Pick Up Play?”

I feel there are multiple scenarios with what amounts to Pick Up Play. It’s actually fairly common, and by no means a bad thing.

If you go to an event there’ll often be different sort of play going on. Some will be between people in a relationship, or regular play partners – and some may be pre-arranged/pre-planned.

But some of which is more off-the-cuff.
I guess a simply scenario is you turn up at an event, you get talking to someone, one of you broaches the idea of play and so you do so. That is pick up play.
If you float around an event asking women if you can kiss their feet, that’s pick up play.
Hell, “anyone want to play stand in a queue” is also pick up play.

And of course play can be a wonderful thing. But it can also, sadly, go quite wrong. Pick up play can heighten the risk.

The more pre-planning in play, the more you can discuss wants, likes and limits.
At a recent event, a guy who’d had a bad experience – I can side with but see the flaws. A Domme had had a queue of guys doing foot play, he had joined the queue for foot play, as each one crossed a boundary she would slap them and send them away.
He learnt from watching, stick to feet, don’t kiss up ankles, sounds good.
But during play they were talking, he said something she didn’t like (he complimented someone else in the room) and she slapped him. He wasn’t happy about it.
The main issue is neither of them had really discussed what they would do, limits, etc. His assumption was that the other subs were bad (and they may well have been) and he would be good. I suspect her assumption is he had seen what was happening and that she’d let him do so much play, then find an excuse to send him packing and move onto the next guy.
For me, this is one of the weaknesses of pick up play; lack of proper communication.

If the two had discussed what was permitted, and limits, then maybe they wouldn’t have played. Or maybe they would and instead of slapping him she’d have just tapped him on the shoulder and told him time is up.

Another big big issue with pick up play is people attending events expecting play and then leaving disappointed that either no one would play with them, or they didn’t get much play.
Some of these folk also end up getting to a point where they become that desperate to play they settle for anything.
For the best part, someone agreeing to play with you is outside of your control. So it’s hinging your own happiness on someone else.

Hell, sometimes you can AGREE to play with someone and time, circumstances, mood, etc means it doesn’t happen – and while this can be disappointing, it also has to be something you accept.

My general tips if you are going to an event hoping for play, or maybe weren’t but the idea is broached.

Be prepared that it might not happen
Floating from one person to the next hoping someone will play is transparent and looks desperate
Don’t make assumptions based on what you saw, or thought you saw
Two-Way communication is important, if the other person isn’t forthcoming about limits/what-is-permitted/punishments/stipulations/etc/etc then you need to prompt
If you’ve never played before it is easier and better to discuss what you WILL do and what IS permitted rather than limits. The other person doesn’t need to know you’re not into scat for a foot worship, or flogging scene.
Don’t play for “the sake of it”, it’s less likely to end well
Don’t be over-agreeable if you think it’ll get you play.
If someone does take the time to play with you, it’s polite to show gratitude (rather than just moving onto the next person)
Events with ‘slave games’ or where there’s an effort to include everyone are often chaotic so don’t be disappointed if time or activities are limited
It’s always easier if it’s people you have existing rapport with
Remember. No one owes you play.
Hopefully everyone has a lot of fun however you arrange your play.