Sex toys once inhabited the realm of taboo. Now, they seem to be a pretty regular fixture in mainstream sex discourse. Want a bit of thriller in your vanilla? Grab a cock ring or a bullet vibrator – pocket-sized, accessible and socially acceptable.
Kinksters have known for years what the rest of the world only now seems to be waking up to; adult toys just make sex better. And apparently, a year of lockdowns has only sped up our lust for experimentation. London sex shops Coco De Mer and Ann Summers have seen their sales skyrocket as both newbies and fetish pros are spending these extended periods of isolation thinking outside the box.
Even in the middle of a global pandemic, taboos are being broken. Most of us are in the market to try something new with our sex life.
But this is probably more true for one sub-section of the population than any other – sex workers.
An unreserved virtual space
For a lot of sex workers, trying out a new toy isn’t just a fun lockdown hobby; it’s a way to keep cherished customers coming back for more. With so many dommes, film makers and escorts now only able to work online, creating a forbidden, unreserved and original virtual space for clients to ‘visit’ is a must.
It’s no secret that escorts and other sex workers love using toys in their appointments. Why wouldn’t they? It would be like turning down extra whipped cream on a chocolate frappuccino. From tickler feathers, fetish wear and blindfolds to anal beads, canes and collossal dildos, any client’s most intricate fantasy can be brought to life with a little imagination and the perfect tools.
And let’s not forget that most sex workers want to get their kicks out of an appointment too. In a way, their regular trip to Simply Pleasure is both an indulgence and a necessity. Might as well enjoy the perks of the job.
So it makes sense that as workers take their services online for lockdown, they’d take their rabbit vibrators with them.
That sense of anticipation
Sex-positive content creators of all genders with huge collections of toys have been a mainstay online for years. From male sex toy reviewers to anonymous bloggers detailing their most intimate and arousing experiences, it’s clear there’s an audience for all things leather, latex and vibrating.
And why wouldn’t it be? In the 21st century, we have more sexual freedom and options available to us than ever before. Fetishes these days are seen as an acceptable talking point, not a symptom of an incurable moral disease. Even Caligula would have blushed if he could see the range of toys and accessories many of us now hang proudly on the walls of our home, in the open, like works of art.
For sex workers and their clients who are used to in-person encounters, virtual content and meetings that show off those collections in action are a great way to enhance connections, build a tantalising sense of anticipation and satisfy those secret desires until face-to-face interactions are safe again.
Plus, it’s a space to delve into unknown pleasures that pique your interest on your own terms, without a real-life baptism of fire.
Explore the unfamiliar
Talking dirty about sex toys or watching a domme or escort use one on themselves can be a low-stakes, fun way of exploring the unfamiliar.
Many clients are in the market for a fresh experience. Perhaps they felt a frisson of excitement after catching a glimpse of a sensual pin-up beauty in nylons, or maybe they watched Fifty Shades to see what all the fuss was about and ended up dreaming about a no-holds-barred encounter with ropes, massage oils and a controlled vibrator.
But it’s not unusual for those same people to feel embarrassed or even ashamed about wanting to try something new. It can be hard to know how to verbalise our deepest desires and needs, especially without much exposure to the astounding array of adult play options on offer. And there’s always the fear of being rebuffed, or worse, laughed at.
Trust your desires
The key to pushing past these nerves is trust. Everyone is a beginner at some point, and the best way to delve into sex toys and kink is to be guided by someone who knows and genuinely adores what they’re doing. Many escorts specialise in their own special brand of adult play and are experts with their chosen tools.
The best sub and domme escorts know how to transition from mild bondage play to harder fetish toys and accessories depending on the experience of their clients. No pro worth their salt would go in hard with a cat o’nine tails on a beginner.
Many escorts also use sessions to help clients test their limits and dip their toes in taboo. Anal play, especially for men, is often considered a no-go. But those thousands of nerve endings are just waiting to be stimulated! Sometimes, it takes a sensual, trusted expert with a body-safe sex toy kit in hand to open up new worlds of pleasure.
It’s also a chance to find out what really makes a partner tick. After all, sex is always a two way street, and what could be hotter than watching a luscious beauty caress herself to ecstasy with a top-range Adrien Lastic clitoral vibrator?
Consent, of course, is key. A true pro will take time to dive deep into desires, define boundaries and agree safe words if more intense toys are on the cards. Even online sex should play by these rules.
Sex workers who can offer these in person instantly create an open-minded atmosphere for erotic play and exploration. Those who offer them online, too, could help so many more to uncover inclinations and cravings they didn’t even know they had.