2020 in Review – All that was. And all that wasn’t.
I’ve decided end of year reviews are always going to be weird.
This one… it’s been a year, hasn’t it?
Before I continue with this post, there is something important I want to raise. I’d be surprised if many of us have really made the progress we wanted to this year.
And while some of us may have used the lockdown to learn new skills. Be it extra time to use something new, or have our hands forced it doing more things online or remotely, there’s no reason to feel let down if you’ve been seemingly less productive than a peer.
We all only ever see windows of each others lives, and there has been a global pandemic.
You’ve probably achieved more than you give yourself credit for, but just making it through is enough.
COMPARING GOALS
Looking at the goals I set myself for 2020, yep, I’ve achieved very little of these. But, I guess an accomplishment is every single one I can put down to “covid stopped this”.
At least some of 2021 is going to be under restrictions, so I guess if I rolled over my previous goals – then that would be progress.
They were.
– Film 100 clips. Not all necessarily for my store
I’ve done 42.
– Add more clips to my splosh store (or, throw gunge over people off-camera)
I’ve done none in 2020.
– Attend 2 strap on parties.
These were all cancelled. Though, I am paid up for one when things resume.
– DJ again
No events!
– More events
No events!
– Enrich relationships
Kinda. I mean. Among other things I’ve met some cool new people.
So, yeah. Let’s continue those.
But otherwise, the 2020 highs and lows.
THE LOWS
Always start with the lows, because things pick up from there.
I mean. Well fuck.
I got made redundant from my job. And this was not covid related and was just before lockdown. Talk about awful timing and not the emotional ride I wanted to be in.
Covid of course a complex one. Sitting watching my beautiful plans burn away before my eyes obviously sucked. And trying to make plans has just been awful.
The rock night I was DJing at was going to go on a break anyway. But, as I’m turning 40 next year I don’t think I’ve the energy to bring back and promote a monthly club night.
So, there’s accepting that is put to bed.
But, aside from this – I’ve had to watch as folk around me who are friends or strong acquaintances have seen not just their plans, but their livelihoods, crash around them (both in and out of kink). That also kinda hurts. Especially when there’s a feeling of knowing someone needs help but not necessarily being able to help, or certainly not help everyone you might want.
The end of year PornHub craziness also hasn’t helped, with of course many folk worried about what happens next. Plus the first reading passing of a new bill which would effectively bring the Nordic Model to the UK is not good reading.
THE HIGHS
New employment
Although losing my job did, rather, suck. I did manage to get into a new job and there’s lots of boosts to that.
They’ve also been really good on homeworking which has been ideal during the pandemic and of course finishing work and then immediately being home has given me more time to work on other projects and help others with some bits and pieces.
The Plans that were…
If I’d been sitting reviewing the film days and such I’ve had this year on another year, it’s actually been really good.
It doesn’t maybe feel as good as I’ve done just 3, small, film days since March – but had done 4 prior to that
And, you know. I can be thrilled with these. Fetish Sinema, Amy Wynters. Sahara Knite, Domina Jemma, just for starters.
The plans that weren’t
Whilst cancelled plans shouldn’t be anything to celebrate, there were plans fell through that were really tasty and it was nice to be invited to, or part of the discussion.
Some I’m sure will reschedule in the future, there’s certainly optimism.
The plans that certainly will be.
There’s been a lot of “we should film sometime” talk with some people who I think are really cool and I really look forward to being able to part of potential future plans with them.
This has included some where I’ve been humbled to have been asked or encouraged and those where I made an initial move and then ideas and excitement has just flowed.
Meeting new people…
I think there were a lot of people this year who I was new to but they weren’t new to me – but – it’s often those who you meet who you didn’t really know that can be a big impression.
People like Roxy-Fox or Mia for example.
…and old.
It was wonderful to see Miss Kendal again after so long. But, well, one of the to-sort-after-covid plans was with someone from a lot longer ago.
To 2021.
A lot has sucked, and it won’t all get better on the stroke of midnight. But, hey, let’s all look forward to a brighter 2021!
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