Tag
femdom
A couple of messages (some of specific scenarios, some generally being a form of FAQ) has led me to start a new Agony Aunt category.
Consider that my advice is based solely on my experience.
I want to start with an extremely common question I’ve heard/answered which I’ve paraphrased below.
“I have told my wife/girlfriend/partner about my fetish/fantasy. Unfortunately, they have said no – they won’t do/try this with me. How can I get them to do this for/with me?”
I don’t diary every filming day or private session (not that I’ve had a private session in a while… another story for another day) but I almost started to regret that with the pandemic and shut down.
So, the filming day I had with Georgie Girl back on March 16th didn’t get a diary post (sorry!) and it’s been 5 whole months without any filming.
Or seeing anyone.
Or leaving my hometown.
Fuck.
I’d put my own plans to return to filming back more than once. Either to comply with guidance or for my own concerns/safety/
Ownership : In a BDSM “Lifestyle” Relationship?
Whilst working out the next logical place to go with this mini series; a comment on the context of the relationship raised a very important point.
“It’s would be helpful to have context about the relationship type.
e.g. with love-based lifestylers, you DON’T “seek ‘ownership'” and you don’t have ‘sessions’ (free or otherwise): You seek a relationship with all that entails & communicate accordingly.”
That is something I feel is very important.
It’s also a mistake that a lot of subs make which I feel is worthy of it’s own blog.
I want you to imagine these scenarios
In these conversations Person A is someone making enquiries, and Person B is a Producer of a non-specific TV serial.
I’ve found over the last 12 months or so a growing number of people who’ve expressed interest in filming – but trying to sort it out is somewhat trickier than it should seem.
I’ve been plotting a few regular trips to London this year, for a mixture of music and fetish events.
So, the opportunity to go to a concert I’d wanted to see and try to arrange some filming around it seemed a good idea.
In reality, ended up with one day filming out of 3 possible days – but it was certainly a quality over quantity situation when that one day was with AMY WYNTERS.
I feel I’ve been a bit lax in doing the diary posts for some of the filming days and so wanted to get back on it.
I think part the problem was I was doing a lot of filming very bundled together in a short space of time. I’m not sure.
So. 2019 finished on a high with a filming day with Devon Breeze and Princess Organa to the extent that I walked out thinking “yeah, I can be done for the year – I’m happy with that”
It was almost 2 months later before my next filming day – which was filming with Miss Kendal for Fetish SINema.
NOTE : this is an old blog – the voting links are no longer relevant and have been removed.
So. April sees the first UK Fetish Awards and I’m pleased to say I’m nominated for 2 different awards.
– Best Fetish Blog –
– Best Fetish Producer –
Now – clicky the links and you can vote for me (and you can vote once per day) but I’m gonna talk a little bit more here.
This is a blog I think a number of conversations and more has led me to write; but it’s arguably controversial.
“Does she really like me, or is it purely financial?”
Oh. OK.
I suppose a counter argument could be from a Dominant, “Does the sub really like me or the fantasy of me? The fetishes? So on”
To me
The real questions you should be asking are:
Am I enjoying myself?
Am I happy with how things are going?
It’s been a while since I last did the ‘Mistress Profile’ series – and so, about time it came back. There are three I’ve already got ready and hopefully more to follow.
First off, I’m going to start with someone I had the pleasure of finally meeting earlier this year and we’ve since met up a couple of times for filming and wrestling.
Nina Hiss.
There’s an alarming regularity that someone will write on a forum something like “Why is it hard to find a Domme?”, “Where are all the Dommes?”, “My fetish is a bit niche so it’s hard to find someone…”
To a degree. I get it. Your copy paste message didn’t yield a response. That one person you were talking to stopped replying. You attended 3 munches or one club and didn’t get any play.
And, you’re disappointed because you feel you put effort in and got nothing back.
So, then… you make the post “Why is it so haaaaaaard….?” and that doesn’t actually help your case, and I’m going to explain why.
Knowing/Setting Your Financial Boundaries.
This is not (just) about Findom.
There’s a lot within fetish and BDSM, particularly when you’re new, or meet somebody new, there can be a temptation to “spend now, worry about it later”
This could be because you want to make a good impression. Or it could be that you would rather do something NOW and pay it off than wait in the hope you can afford the time later. Fearing you will miss opportunities.
This is something that is largely a joint responsibility, but largely that on the sub.
Unless you have an arrangement, expecting your Dominant to be responsible for your spending/finances is extra labour on them. Ultimately, they can’t do anything about it if you’re not sure and crystal honest yourself.
And, also, unless you’re exclusive to one person – then nobody can babysit your finances for you.
Here’s some tips to follow
After a busy May, June needed to be a little quieter. But, things for July seemed to slot neatly.
This blog covers the weekend of 4th-6th July – some further antics will be in future blogs.
I’ve already written a blog about a visit to Club DVS, although the plan for the weekend was to go down and do a little filming and go to the club, it turned into a little more.