eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm opinion

Finding the perfect(?) gift

There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.

A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.

Back to Basics : Consent & Negotiating Play

A logical next chapter in my ‘Back to Basics’ series is around consent and arranging play.

The assumption of your position is that perhaps you’ve got talking with someone who would also like to play with you sometime.

Examples could include :
– chatting online
– discussing at a munch
– at an event and the topic comes up
– approaching a professional about booking a session

It may be you have had some opportunity to try certain things informally. For example at a workshop, or slapping a flogger on your hand or something. It might not. read more

Finding a Mistress – Do’s and Don’ts

How to Find a Mistress

I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.

“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”

Or varients.

There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.

Taking Shortcuts – The quick way to (not) get what you want

There are so many scenarios I can relate this to – and I’m sure most of you have either had someone attempt to take a short cut with you, or you’re possibly looking for the quickest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
So, you want to go from being single guy to owned slave, skint lady to wealthy findom or person not getting play to person getting play.
Or perhaps you’re looking for someone who is doing this to help guide you, “show you the way”, pass on their contacts, give you a chance, or whatever.
Read on.

A more personal take on getting out what you put in

Having scrapped my planned blog for this week (honestly, it needed nuking – my good points in there will be mopped up on a future blog.) I had an inspiration for some writing earlier – and this is probably going to be one of the more personal blogs I’ve written in a while.
It’s not quite as personal as I first thought but, certainly, a slice of my thoughts right now.
To work properly, this is going to be one take – so apologies if there’s a few more errors than normal.
I don’t confess this often, but it should be no secret.
I really love the kink/fetish/BDSM scene.

Back to Basics : Munches

The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.

So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.

In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.

As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.

One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.

Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.

My first topic…
Munches.

A blog about my blog

Whilst ideas and inspirations for new blogs are brewing, including a couple of drafts already written, I wanted to reflect on why I do this blog in the first place.

Whilst it’s certainly evolved from the early days, some of the core reasons for doing this have to go into every post, else I feel I’m doing it wrong.

Initially, I started just with ad hoc writings on Fetlife.

Usually unplanned, knee jerk, reflecting on how I either felt at the time, or in response of something happening.

In ways. These are probably some of my best. In ways.

Those whose New Year Resolution is “Explore my Kinky Side”

We’re barely into January and there’s already the rumbling of those who maybe made their New Years Resolution “Explore my kink side”.

I kinda get the “New Year” thing. That perhaps there’s something in your life you’ve been putting off doing, for whatever reason, so the turn of the calendar year can be a prompt to do it.

Or of course, it’s easier to think in targets against a calendar year.

I also know newcomers come in all different shapes and sizes – be it people with experience coming back… couples looking to enhance their relationship… those looking for a relationship… those seeking to explore fantasies… so forth.

Some of this is all great stuff.

I’ll do anything (as long as it’s my fetish)

I think there’s sometimes a polar in “sub” guys who get it wrong.

Be it:
1) I’ll do anything, I have no limits
or
2) I want to serve you by doing all my fetishes and fantasies.

On the surface, one guy is too open and the other is too closed.

Different Types of Timewaster

Different Types of Timewaster

And, how not to be one.

We all know about deliberate and blatant timewasters – though, we often assume timewaster = someone who books a session and doesn’t show, or overmilks a conversation without a firm booking. Or pretends to have bought something from a Wishlist (perhaps even buys, sends ‘proof’ then cancels the order)

They know exactly what they’re doing.

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