eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm opinion

Is submission truly selfless?

Is submission truly selfless?

Something that I had struggled with in the past was around whether or not my actions were “selfless”.

Part of this stemmed from a moment a while ago when two Ladies were discussing guys in general and as I pottered around tidying up, one said “They’re not selfless, not like this one”.

What should have been a compliment, actually led me to have a lot of thinking. I didn’t see myself as being selfless. I want to be useful so that people will keep me around. read more

Finding the right Dominant for you : some vetting tips.

So.
You’re scrolling through Twitter or Fetlife or wherever and see photos or mention of someone that makes you go “ooh”.
Perhaps this could be a picture or clip of someone you’ve found attractive or maybe something they’ve said that reasons with your mind.

There’s a little part of your brain spikes up and goes “I simply have to meet this person”.

Of course in a lot of cases a lot of initial horniness takes over – and is where we get a lot of the stupid from – but again to cut this quicker you’re a rational person and can manage to type with hands above the keyboard and begin to type an application to serve or book a session.

Which, um, is still some of the horniness taking over.

In some of these steps  that follow are things to consider to help increase the chances of the person being right for you on whatever basis.

The purpose of this blog serves for an almost pre-contact vetting.  I may continue this series for almost ongoing vetting.

Fantasy v Reality : If it’s real to you, it’s real

My thoughts on Fantasy v Reality take a little bit of a twist today.

See, I had intended on following up my, more lighthearted, post – with something more serious about some of my struggles.

But, instead I decided on another angle.

For this I need to give you an anecdote of something that happened 2 years ago.

Grab a chair and get comfy

I was around a week away from what would be my second session with a Pro Domme. It was the same Lady as my first session, but, we’d had a lot of fun and wanted to do it again – and – some things we’d wanted to develop a little. read more

Back to Basics : Profile Pitfalls

Profile Pitfalls

I’m not sure if this is one for a ‘Back to Basics’ article – or – an opinion piece in it’s own right. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, I was on a website the other day and there was a guy hoping to find a Mistress* and was seeking advice on improving his profile to make him more appealing.
(*mind, this blog is going to be a bit more than F/m D/s)

Like many things, I feel there’s no correct solution. There are, however, lots of things that are wrong or disadvantage you.

Fantasy v Reality : Mistakes Many Make

There’s been a lot on my mind lately regarding fantasy vs reality.

While, perhaps, a deeper blog on my thought process could be one “for the future” – this blog here is more designed at some of the many pitfalls that some seem to confuse.

The list is non-exhaustive.

Am I even kinky?

Am I even kinky?

I asked myself that today. Well. Today as of when I’m writing this blog, so in reality probably a different day.

And, I know others have had similar thought processes.

It is an extension, of course, on a previous thought of “Am I really a sub?”

Are Pro-Domme sessions too cheap?

It’s been a bit of a hot topic – and it does tie in a little bit with stuff I’ve said in the past.

Are Pro-Domme sessions actually TOO CHEAP?

I’ll do anything

“I’ll do anything”, “Whatever Mistress/Sir wants”

These sound like good tidbits.

It’s like there’s been some thought put into the lack of thought.

“If I let people know I’m up for anything that it widens my chances”

It also, potentially, widens your chances of not getting what you want.

It also makes you look desperate.

It also makes you more “work” as someone will have to coax out of you what you ACTUALLY want to do.

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

What have the professionals ever done for us

Initially, I was going to write this as a Monty Python style blog.

What have the Professionals ever done for us?

Well, apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… no wait, that was Romans.

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