eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm journey

Do I Deserve This?

Do I deserve this?

I am going to cut straight to the chase, I struggle, at times, with ‘Impostor Syndrome’.

In saying that – sometimes when I’m struggling I do acknowledge this is the problem, that it is a known thing. But, that doesn’t, always, help.

Diary: Return to the Berlin Farm

After a really good weekend at the Hidden Torturer Farm last year, it was certainly a no-brainer to repeat the opportunity. (Read here for last years adventures).

Like previously, I was going with a view to be of assistance to Miss Courtney. However, a twist in the plot was that Miss Suzanna, whom I also have an amazing relationship with, was attending.

Jealousy in Kink

Something that has been a struggle for me at times has been jealousy.

I want to talk about some of my struggles and spirals.

Some of this I drafted when feeling quite low, but a lot was written or reviewed when I was in a good place.
I think that’s also something extremely important, to be able to review how you felt – to be able to manage things in the future.

I would imagine that most/many subs have similar feelings.
It may even be that Dominants have similar, I don’t know. They probably do.

Am I even kinky?

Am I even kinky?

I asked myself that today. Well. Today as of when I’m writing this blog, so in reality probably a different day.

And, I know others have had similar thought processes.

It is an extension, of course, on a previous thought of “Am I really a sub?”

Diary : Filming with House of Sinn

The very first time I filmed with House of Sinn was before I even started this blog/diary.

The second time was something I didn’t write about, because I don’t diary everything.  To go 3 times without writing about them, especially on such a big experience, well, that’d be a travesty.

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

Finding the perfect(?) gift

There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.

A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.

Taking Shortcuts – The quick way to (not) get what you want

There are so many scenarios I can relate this to – and I’m sure most of you have either had someone attempt to take a short cut with you, or you’re possibly looking for the quickest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
So, you want to go from being single guy to owned slave, skint lady to wealthy findom or person not getting play to person getting play.
Or perhaps you’re looking for someone who is doing this to help guide you, “show you the way”, pass on their contacts, give you a chance, or whatever.
Read on.

A more personal take on getting out what you put in

Having scrapped my planned blog for this week (honestly, it needed nuking – my good points in there will be mopped up on a future blog.) I had an inspiration for some writing earlier – and this is probably going to be one of the more personal blogs I’ve written in a while.
It’s not quite as personal as I first thought but, certainly, a slice of my thoughts right now.
To work properly, this is going to be one take – so apologies if there’s a few more errors than normal.
I don’t confess this often, but it should be no secret.
I really love the kink/fetish/BDSM scene.

Back to Basics : Munches

The other day, I had a bit of a realisation. A lot of the beginners/newbies information was pretty much in abundance when I joined the kink scene, but is slowly getting lost amongst the noise.

So. I’m starting a series of ‘Back to Basics’ blog posts which are largely aimed at newcomers.

In the coming weeks and months I’ll be covering assorted topics to add to the resource pool.

As always.
I’m writing based on my own experiences and largely weighted on my own opinions.

One of my opinions is to consider multiple sources for your information.

Now, also, there isn’t really one right way to do anything, but certainly lots of wrong ways.

My first topic…
Munches.

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