eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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bdsm blog

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

What have the professionals ever done for us

Initially, I was going to write this as a Monty Python style blog.

What have the Professionals ever done for us?

Well, apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… no wait, that was Romans.

Do guys who bitch about Findom lack self awareness?

I was reading yet-another bitching-about-Findom thread the other day.

It’s kinda sobering the lack of self awareness some of these guys have.

It has happened, but it’s very rare I get cold contacted by a Findom – and – I’ll usually be polite unless she fails to take the, well, hint, that handing over money to someone random is most certainly not my kink.

Finding the perfect(?) gift

There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.

A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.

Back to Basics : Consent & Negotiating Play

A logical next chapter in my ‘Back to Basics’ series is around consent and arranging play.

The assumption of your position is that perhaps you’ve got talking with someone who would also like to play with you sometime.

Examples could include :
– chatting online
– discussing at a munch
– at an event and the topic comes up
– approaching a professional about booking a session

It may be you have had some opportunity to try certain things informally. For example at a workshop, or slapping a flogger on your hand or something. It might not. read more

Finding a Mistress – Do’s and Don’ts

How to Find a Mistress

I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.

“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”

Or varients.

There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.

Back to Basics : Fetish and BDSM Events

Continuing my ‘Back to Basics’ series, I’m now looking at events and parties.
In the last installment it was munches and it may be that having been to some munches you want to step up to one of the events everyone raves about.

Consent : A Survey

As you may have seen, this week off the cuff I decided to create a survey about consent and abuse of.

A link to the survey is here.

I wanted to use this blog in order to.
– Clarify what I want from the survey
– Go through Data Protection
– Apologise for some shortfalls.

Taking Shortcuts – The quick way to (not) get what you want

There are so many scenarios I can relate this to – and I’m sure most of you have either had someone attempt to take a short cut with you, or you’re possibly looking for the quickest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
So, you want to go from being single guy to owned slave, skint lady to wealthy findom or person not getting play to person getting play.
Or perhaps you’re looking for someone who is doing this to help guide you, “show you the way”, pass on their contacts, give you a chance, or whatever.
Read on.

A more personal take on getting out what you put in

Having scrapped my planned blog for this week (honestly, it needed nuking – my good points in there will be mopped up on a future blog.) I had an inspiration for some writing earlier – and this is probably going to be one of the more personal blogs I’ve written in a while.
It’s not quite as personal as I first thought but, certainly, a slice of my thoughts right now.
To work properly, this is going to be one take – so apologies if there’s a few more errors than normal.
I don’t confess this often, but it should be no secret.
I really love the kink/fetish/BDSM scene.

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