eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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Opinion Pieces

I’ll do anything

“I’ll do anything”, “Whatever Mistress/Sir wants”

These sound like good tidbits.

It’s like there’s been some thought put into the lack of thought.

“If I let people know I’m up for anything that it widens my chances”

It also, potentially, widens your chances of not getting what you want.

It also makes you look desperate.

It also makes you more “work” as someone will have to coax out of you what you ACTUALLY want to do.

Knowing what you seek is halfway to finding it

Submission isn’t always black and white

One of the first and most important rules in submission is that ‘the rules’ are defined by your relationship and dynamic.

Sometimes the answer “is this normal?” is, “yes” and “does it matter anyway, if it works for you?”.

Of course, sometimes this can be easier if you are in a relationship and exploring, working out what does and doesn’t work for you.

What have the professionals ever done for us

Initially, I was going to write this as a Monty Python style blog.

What have the Professionals ever done for us?

Well, apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order… no wait, that was Romans.

Do guys who bitch about Findom lack self awareness?

I was reading yet-another bitching-about-Findom thread the other day.

It’s kinda sobering the lack of self awareness some of these guys have.

It has happened, but it’s very rare I get cold contacted by a Findom – and – I’ll usually be polite unless she fails to take the, well, hint, that handing over money to someone random is most certainly not my kink.

Finding the perfect(?) gift

There’s a lot said around gifting and tribute. Whether this is within the whole Findom “spoil me” kind of thing. Or gifts when meeting, or after meeting, or for a birthday or Christmas… or just because.

A lot of this post I’m going to explain my own mindset, but some of this may be helpful if you want to gift someone and trying to impress them.

Consent and Abuse Survey : The Results

Recently, I conducted a survey to do some research around consent and violations and the management of these within BDSM.
The reasons were two-fold, firstly for my own understanding.
That, I of course have my own opinions and understanding, but it’s important to know how people feel about this wider.
One potential problem sometimes is being in our own little bubbles and I can’t present ‘facts’ without them.
So, secondly, to present facts.
Do people feel their concerns were, or would be, dealt with – and general attitude towards the scene.
Whilst I did have some of my own expectations on the result – some things came back differently to how I expected, some better some worse.

Finding a Mistress – Do’s and Don’ts

How to Find a Mistress

I’ve seen a whole wave of newbies recently whom seem to have this question.

“I’m interested in exploring my fetishes, where can I find a Mistress?”

Or varients.

There’s no one-stop solution, but here’s some simple do’s and don’ts.

Consent : A Survey

As you may have seen, this week off the cuff I decided to create a survey about consent and abuse of.

A link to the survey is here.

I wanted to use this blog in order to.
– Clarify what I want from the survey
– Go through Data Protection
– Apologise for some shortfalls.

Taking Shortcuts – The quick way to (not) get what you want

There are so many scenarios I can relate this to – and I’m sure most of you have either had someone attempt to take a short cut with you, or you’re possibly looking for the quickest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
So, you want to go from being single guy to owned slave, skint lady to wealthy findom or person not getting play to person getting play.
Or perhaps you’re looking for someone who is doing this to help guide you, “show you the way”, pass on their contacts, give you a chance, or whatever.
Read on.

A blog about my blog

Whilst ideas and inspirations for new blogs are brewing, including a couple of drafts already written, I wanted to reflect on why I do this blog in the first place.

Whilst it’s certainly evolved from the early days, some of the core reasons for doing this have to go into every post, else I feel I’m doing it wrong.

Initially, I started just with ad hoc writings on Fetlife.

Usually unplanned, knee jerk, reflecting on how I either felt at the time, or in response of something happening.

In ways. These are probably some of my best. In ways.

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