eyemblacksheep

Journey and Opinions of a BDSM Kinkster

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Opinion Pieces

Being Good Enough

One of the things you may know I’ve struggled with in the past of the feeling of “being good enough”. Because there’s always someone prettier, richer, can take more, more popular, has better contacts, has a specialist ability, so on.

Now. You don’t need to be “the best” to exceed the minimum standards. That’s something important.

Bonding far from perfect? Yeah, but so is our own industry.

Although this blog post isn’t about the TV show ‘Bonding’ it is partially inspired by it.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show – it’s a Netflix show regarding a young Dominatrix recruiting her high-school friend as an assistant.
It’s 7 short episodes – around 15 minutes each – and has created a little bit debate regarding a few factors.

Obviously, I’m in full support that some are unhappy that the main character has an in-character account on Twitter, with a blue tick; when actual Dominants and sex workers find themselves shadow-banned.
It also fails to showcase some of the external factors against the industry (example SESTA/FOSTA or the threat of the Nordic Model in the UK) – and she seems to walk around with little consequences. read more

“Lucky Slave?” – actually, yes, we’re all lucky.

Maybe there’s some stock in “lucky slave”
As some of you probably know, I despise the term “lucky slave” – usually written in a comment to a picture or clip (specifically, the 7 second trailer!)
An often common response is either…
– he’s not lucky, he booked a session and turned up
or
– he’s not lucky, he earned it.

Before commenting on others pictures…

I know there’s a temptation when you see someone’s photo/clip/etc that you like to put in a comment and “interact”.

Now, I think this can be an encouraging way to show appreciation (especially if you’ve actually bought the clip, when relevant) but before you put your fingers on the keyboard and start dancing across with one hand – here are some things to think about and consider.

DOES MY COMMENT ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING?

A fetlife love, or a twitter retweet, will put the item into people’s feeds without you having to mash the keyboard in the name of ‘crumbs’. read more

How to book a session with a NON Professional.

Recently, I’ve seen a couple of comments from female Dominants who do not work Professionally.  That there are men who try to “book them” as if they were a Pro.

There’s a couple of frustrations that Ladies like this understandably have which ultimately comes down to, well, poor male logic.

A lot of guys who claim to be submissive aren’t actually interested in a D/s or FLR relationship – what they’re really, ultimately, interested in is Pro-Domme sessions without paying for a Pro-Domme session.

15 things fetishists should stop doing

I started this as foot fetish, but then quickly realised it was transferable elsewhere.

So, here it is – if you’ve got a fetish and not really getting what you want, here’s a bunch of things you maybe should stop doing in order to boost your chances.

So… what are you doing about it?

“I’d love to that one day”
“I wish that was me”
“I’d love the opportunity to do that”

So on, so forth.

My simple question is…
So, what are you doing about it?

Risk : Being Aware of It.

I’m going to be really technical today and discuss risk.

Risk is something important in many parts of life. Every day we take risks, but, there’s a lot of things we’re programmed to mitigate this.

For example – every time we cross the road there is a risk, but our entire lives we’ve had the green cross code drilled into our heads.

So, when a road is busy we look for a crossing.
If one isn’t available perhaps we cross in groups.
Lest of all we stop look and listen.

why the “free foot massages” trope doesn’t work

I’d started another blog and got sidetracked on this issue – but, felt it was a big enough one to have it’s own blog, which can reference this one.

Amongst the most comical of classifieds is whenever you get a guy trying to be clever by offering “free foot massages”.

Other variations are available.

“I want to be like you” – the strangers trying to coattail

Every now and then I get a message from another guy.

The general vibe is usually

“You get to do cool things and meet nice Women, I would also like that”

Sometimes I even get “maybe you could take me with you.”

No stranger. I don’t know you from shit, taking you with me would be a form of vouching and I can’t vouch for you because I don’t know you and any bad behaviour will reflect on me.

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